Today Is National Vanilla Milkshake Day, Please Report To The Yard

So today is National Vanilla Milkshake Day, which is a thing, and the sort of thing that makes you feel silly for not demanding its existence be manifested before you heard it was a thing.

In its eternal spirit of celebrating food days above all other days, Twitter has trended the term “Today is National Vanilla Milkshake Day,” and the dulcet strains of Kelis’ biggest hit ever are being shared far and wide in celebration of this venerated American celebration we just learned existed five minutes ago.

Is there any greater summer pleasure than the humble vanilla milkshake? Sure, pina coladas are up there. And not having to wear pants all day because of bathing suits is great. Also not turning the stove on for ten weeks because of grills and tacos al fresco, totally awesome. And that thing of where you never have to launder socks, a favorite.

But today is National Vanilla Milkshake Day, and we must investigate its origins so we can feel totally assured that celebrating it isn’t just an excuse to skip dinner and get one instead.

But first:

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, cursory research indicates that National Vanilla Milkshake Day has been a “holiday” since at least 2013, as ancient CNN postings from 365 days ago tantalizingly reveal.

A Facebook page dedicated to National Vanilla Milkshake Day has a whopping 20 fans, and links back to the meta-vanilla page The site is not only amusingly generic like its namesake, but it doesn’t give any obvious hint as to who owns it or what its purpose is… sort of like a vanilla milkshake.

Twitter is promoting National Vanilla Milkshake Day organically as well, with local shops inviting patrons in… to buy a milkshake, cheapskates:

And while all tweets and commentary we’ve seen are safe for work, I think this is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen on Twitter in my entire life:

Some people just do not get it:

While today is National Vanilla Milkshake Day, it seems this new food holiday appeared out of the ether. However, any excuse to get your vanilla milkshake on is a good one — even if no one is giving out free vanilla milkshakes to celebrate, step up your game, Big Ice Cream.

[Image: National Vanilla Milkshake Day Facebook page]

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