Why Does ‘Feminist’ Site Jezebel Have Such A Weirdly Anti-Breastfeeding Slant?
Breastfeeding is probably the most touchy issue of new-motherhood with the debate of breast versus formula constantly raging on corners of the internet. And the battle even made the news this summer with the announcement that New York City’s mayor Mike Bloomberg was pushing breastfeeding through an initiative called Latch On NYC, designed to better promote breastfeeding in hospitals.
To be sure, breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocacy are feminist issues of the highest order. Women who breastfeed are often illegally discriminated against, booted from public spaces where in most cases they legally have a right to be. And most workplaces in the US have scant if any protections for pregnant or postpartum mothers, not to mind women who hope to exclusively breastfeed a child for at least the first year of life.
Access to breastfeeding education, protection, and tools is minimal for women, low-income women in particular, and, yet, breastfeeding advocacy and education is far too often slandered in the media and on blogs as bullying with amazing and helpful organizations like La Leche League branded “nipple nazis” for the crime of trying to create a support network for breastfeeding mothers who may not find assistance or understanding at home or in the workplace.
It seems to me at least that nowadays, feminist blogs — and Jezebel in particular — are furthering this nasty and untrue urban legend that breastfeeding support and advocacy exists for one reason and one reason only, to shame women who choose bottle over breast and make them feel less than for making the choice that best suits their family and motherhood style.
And I speak here from the experience of having been a low-income, young mother at one point who viewed firsthand what women with limited access to breastfeeding support and services face. Part of the issue? This concept that breastfeeding women are roaming in packs to make women using bottles and formula feel like jerks about their baby-feeding choices.
This week, Jezebel carried a post titled “Sorry — You Can’t Guilt Trip Me About Bottle Feeding My Kids” which, right off the bat, is problematic and harmful to moms. It implies that breastfeeding advocacy is some oppressive regime cooked up solely to guilt women who for any number of reasons choose not to breastfeed and goes on to rattle off a cadre of breastfeeding fallacies, misinformation, and outright lies in a way that is incredibly frustrating as no one was ever kicked out of Macy’s for whipping out a bottle. (But I was once asked to leave for discreetly nursing in the shoe department.)
Writer Sarah Fister Gale goes on to paint a picture of breastfeeding advocacy that not only is inaccurate but proposes a touchiness that would in essence prevent women who are as I once was (21, newly married and a mother, unable to afford formula) from benefiting from services like lactation consultants — a service, I might add, that was not even available in the hospital in which my kids were born.
Within the first two paragraphs, Gale attacks breastfeeding in several ways, ways that could negatively influence a woman’s choice to breastfeed should she be on the fence. With judgments that border on body-shaming and slut-shaming, the Jez post reads:
“I didn’t like the idea of whipping out my breasts in public, or attaching a milking machine to my nipples, or being the only living source of food on the planet for my child…”
It’s comments like this — “whipping out my breasts” — that help further the idea nursing in public is somehow indiscreet or lacks decorum, a serious inhibition to women who would like the choice to nurse but may face a hostile workplace or lack of privacy in a crowded home.
The term “milking machine” hints that lactating women are sexless, like cows, and calls to mind de-personalizing terms like “fun bags” that casually bully women for not constantly being there to provide visual pleasure for men. How dare they!
It also glosses over the fact that women can easily pump and bank milk — even poor women if WIC was as willing to pay for breast pumps as it is to pay for expensive formula. Gale continues:
“I did however like the idea that my husband would be able to participate in the most intimate act of feeding our son from the day he was born. I liked that I might be able to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. I liked knowing exactly how much my child was eating, down to the very last ounce. And (I admit it) after nine long months of total sobriety, I liked the idea of drinking the occasional glass of wine without worrying that I was getting my newborn hooked on cheap chardonnay.”
Four sentences, four fallacious comments about nursing. As a mother who breastfed each of my two kids, my husband was easily able to participate in feeding my children expressed milk. And after I learned to latch — an experience that took more than two weeks because I lacked access to a lactation consultant or knowledgeable nurse — I was able to sleep six to seven hours at a stretch since I didn’t have to get up to prepare bottles.
It may be nice to know a child consumes eight ounces of formula, but the idea that a breastfed baby isn’t getting adequate nutrition because one can’t measure a marker on the bottle is a harmful vestige of a time when women didn’t know better, and formula companies were happy to suggest that parents should fear not knowing how many ounces a child consumes. (A breastfed baby with sufficient wet or dirty diapers can be safely assumed is eating frequently enough.)
And many nursing mothers enjoy an occasional glass of wine. As long as a mother doesn’t breastfeed while drunk, drinking poses no risk to a baby. But even those misconceptions promoted to an audience comprised largely of women who have yet to face the question of breast or bottle are not sufficient; the post goes on to decry lactation consultants as shame-mongering villains who sneer, wear cheap perfume, and flounce about the hospital dispensing guilt heavy-handedly.
In actuality, a lactation consultant is a necessary service hospitals need to provide. While the post tells a tale of a bullying woman who explains that pain and suffering are par for the course, all breastfeeding professionals with which I consulted as a new mom told me exactly the opposite: that with proper help, breastfeeding isn’t supposed to hurt.
After insinuating that formula is somehow a better choice for preemies like her own child — it is not necessary nor even recommended, and a premature baby can safely be fed exclusively on breastmilk — Gale predictably attacks the Latch On NYC initiative, again speaking from a place of ignorance. She says:
“According to the ‘breast is best’ fanatics, choosing to bottle-feed my babies was akin to feeding them crack and getting them tattooed. New York is even considering locking up formula in hospitals so new mothers won’t be swayed by the evils of this alternative to the breast… But why? Of all the things society can do to protect it’s most vulnerable citizens, is hiding formula and making women feel terrible about how they choose to feed their children really the place to start?”
In our earlier coverage of NYC’s breastfeeding initiative, I pointed out that, while the critique of this program may be well-intentioned, it is fundamentally incorrect. In all other Western nations, formula is not marketed in hospitals and for good reason. It’s unethical. It’s harmful to breastfeeding relationships. And most of all, formula will not be restricted in any way except as a marketing push.
Formula is and has always been free to non-breastfeeding mothers in maternity wards. What is changing is that samples provided by companies — which can influence a woman’s decision, such as through coupons and “swag bags” — will no longer be distributed. No one is being forced or even cajoled to breastfeed. It’s just that formula companies’ access to a captive and vulnerable audience is being restricted. In one city. And, it should be noted, following guidelines laid out by the American Association of Pediatrics.
But the sad thing about this common misconception that promoting breastfeeding is shaming women who choose not to is that, for every slight aimed at breastfeeding mothers in general and the organizations that support them, the already-weak network of support for nursing mothers is eroded. The idea is planted that those who may help — places and people like La Leche League, which is free and bar none the best source of information for women who can’t afford paid help — are really out to bully, belittle, or insult women who are desperately in need of support and assistance.
To wit, while the “breast is best” message has caught on intellectually, in society today, it has not caught on in practice. A shamed formula feeding mother may feel badly for a few minutes — a shamed nursing mother may give up altogether because she lacks support or encouragement or knowledge about how to breastfeed. A judgment will never take away a formula feeding woman’s ability to formula feed, but a nursing woman can be deprived of her ability to breastfeed due to such actions.
Perhaps the “breast is best” message does make some parents feel inadequate for choosing otherwise, but, as long as formula is free in hospitals, the only choices being taken away are those from women who cannot afford or access the very basic breastfeeding services which are only beginning to catch on as a standard in this country, and it is doing women everywhere an extreme disservice.
Tags : AAP, aap resolution, american academy of pediatrics, baby formula, breastfeeding, formula ban, formula freebies, free baby formula, free formula, infant formula, Mayor Bloomberg, nanny state, new york city formula ban, NYC formula ban
Posted: August 17, 2012
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Aug 17, 2012
I had a problem with the breastfeeding initiative in the beginning, but it was based on misinformation that I neglected to double-check. I don't think any mom should be told she's wrong to choose formula, and I had the impression this campaign was going to do that. When I did look further into it…prompted by a wiser friend or two….I learned that wasn't the case, and that it's really a good- great- program. A beginning, anyway.
Look, breast is best and bottle is second-best, medically speaking in general in most cases where there are no extenuating circumstances and eighty other disclaimers to avoid offense.
We know that there are 'bests' and 'okays'. Your kid may do 'best' if he gets a certain amount of time of mom focusing on shapes and colors with him every day- but he'll also be fine if you have to send him to daycare so you can go back to work. Your kid may do 'best' with two parents in the home (throw in all the disclaimers again) but there are many cases where 'best' really does mean kid being with a single parent and the other one being safely locked away, or two loving parents who live separately.
In other words, 'best' doesn't mean it's what will work for every single person- 'best' means that it's the thing that is overall most of the time in general best for most people in most cases. If you're the exception to the rule- well, if you're lactose-intolerant, I assume that the 'milk does a body good' commercials don't make you feel inadequate. If you know your case is one where breastfeeding would not work, it's okay to not get upset at a general statement.
Aug 17, 2012
Heh, I was like, I like this commenter. Oh, it's Steph.
Aug 17, 2012
I'm glad that you wrote this article Kim. This is something that has been sticking in my craw for a long time. Breastfeeding is a feminist issue. The whole notion that one is "whipping out" ones "tits" while feeding a child tells us very clearly that our bodies are not our own and that they belong to the people who may or may not want to look. This plays in to the notion that our bodies are only good for one thing: pleasing other people. That, to me, in unacceptable.
Additionally, it seems that any criticism of a formula company's marketing tactics is taken as criticism against bottle-feeding moms. What a huge win this has been on the part of formula company PR departments! They have successfully reframed the argument and placed themselves above reproach. This is unacceptable, and I'm disappointed that an otherwise intelligent media outlet like Jezebel would fall for this kind of tactic. Enfamil and Similac are not bottle-feeding moms. They are huge corporations looking to make huge profits.
Thanks for writing this. I'm sharing this in my mommy groups and on my blog.
Aug 17, 2012
Thanks for the post, love it! However I feel you have only had experienced with maybe one WIC program. Many WIC programs provide pumps free of charge to their breastfeeding participants. In MD we issued hand pumps to anyone who needed one, electric pumps to those going back to work or school, personal user pumps for those who exclusively breastfeed for six months and hospital grade pumps were loaned to those with babies in the NICE etc. I've also met many other WIC employees from all over the US at WIC conferences that tell me they do the same. WIC provides some amazing free services ti low income families. It has to offer formula but they are also offered breastfeeding education, peer support, lactation consultants, pumps and bras all free of charge.
Aug 17, 2012
Thanks for the post, love it! However I feel you have only had experienced with maybe one WIC program. Many WIC programs provide pumps free of charge to their breastfeeding participants. In MD we issued hand pumps to anyone who needed one, electric pumps to those going back to work or school, personal user pumps for those who exclusively breastfeed for six months and hospital grade pumps were loaned to those with babies in the NICE etc. I've also met many other WIC employees from all over the US at WIC conferences that tell me they do the same. WIC provides some amazing free services ti low income families. It has to offer formula but they are also offered breastfeeding education, peer support, lactation consultants, pumps and bras all free of charge.
Aug 17, 2012
Thanks, Molly! I feel like we are *just* getting to a place where we might be able to find a way to fit this concept on a bumper sticker, but at the same time, the shaming issue for breastfeeding moms is so deeply ingrained that it's a constantly uphill battle to not have every breastfeeding initiative repackaged as a guilt trip. But I agree with all of this, and it is the WORST kind of astroturfing!
Aug 17, 2012
Kim, you write, "Perhaps the “breast is best” message does make some parents feel inadequate for choosing otherwise."
The entire notion of "breast is best" is one promoted by the formula industry. It's very easy when you use this terminology, to hold breastfeeding up as an unachievable ideal. Sure "breast is best" but… I think a good first step in normalizing breastfeeding is to stop using this kind of terminology. Breast isn't best. It's a biologically normal process. Have you read this article Kim LaCapria? Diane Wiessinger has a done a great job unpacking the issue of language: http://www.motherchronicle.com/watchyourlanguage.
Aug 17, 2012
That is a really good point, I never looked at it that way. I am reading it now!
Aug 17, 2012
Great article! You stated the facts clearly without being antagonistic! And truly, our position as breastfeeding advocates should not arise out of the need to be right or win. We need to present factual information so parents can make well-informed choices for their children. And thanks to Kim for writing it and to Molly for sharing it! Cheers!
Aug 17, 2012
There is so much to say about this article from the point of view of someone who could not produce milk and had a baby in desperate need of it. It's crazy that the use of formula is reinforced for premature infants in the NICU, through their pediatricians, and NICU doctors/nurses.
Aug 17, 2012
Excellent, insightful, and vital article! Thank you for sharing it, Molly! Yes, present the facts without value judgements and allow parents to make their own choices. The author's analogy between blood and breastmilk is priceless. Banked human milk needs to be as available as donor blood. However, if we're not careful, human milk will end up being ultra-pasteurized and homogenized.
Aug 17, 2012
Great article!
Aug 17, 2012
I personally think breast feeding is better but its a persons own dang opinion. I do say think however that you shouldn't bring out your boobs in the middle of the store or park. There are bathrooms for that, or at least put a light blanket over your assets(but where the baby can still breathe) so that people don't have to see them. Its not a big deal for a adult to see some boobs but I don't think you should leave them visible in front of minors. Yes its natural but there's a line between providing for your kids politely and being vulgar about it.
But I haven't had kids yet so I should probably just shut up.
Aug 17, 2012
The photo at the top of the page is exactly one of the reasons that many young women and the general uninformed public think they have to strip to the waist and expose themselves in order to breastfeed an infant. So not just the expression "whipping out my breasts" makes it seem indiscrete but the photo chosen to illustrate your article. I have a theory that it's the formula companies that made these images popular so as to put young mothers off the whole idea of such an immodest proposal as breastfeeding….."It’s comments like this — “whipping out my breasts” — that help further the idea nursing in public is somehow indiscreet or lacks decorum, a serious inhibition to women who woulld like the choice to nurse but may face a hostile workplace or lack of privacy in a crowded home."
Aug 17, 2012
When a baby needs milk it needs milk. Western society needs to shut up and just get a little more comfortable with the human body.
Aug 17, 2012
I breast fed my youngest. In Public. In WalMart while walking down the isles. Eating at Burger King. At a park and at church. No one knew. You are 100% correct Kathy. I wasn't trying to 'hide' it out of shame. I did it because my baby needed to eat and it wasn't convenient for me to go to the dirty restroom.
Aug 17, 2012
I think to each there own. if you are comfortable breast feeding then do it. If you prefer to bottle feed then do it. I just have one thing really to say. Is if you are in public breast feeding use a receiving blanket to cover yourself, not everyone is comfortable seeing others breasts (which we were raised is a private part). Covering the area is more acceptable. I breast feed two of my children and one I didn't. So I have done both but you need to be considerate of others around you. But then the bond you get from breast feeding can also be found with bottle feeding its the touch holding talking and eye contact. so be yourself, do what is comfortable for you and enjoy your babies.
Aug 17, 2012
Chris I know more about kids than you. It takes 5 minutes tops to get to the bathrooms from the back of wallmart. Or 10 seconds to put a blanket over your boobs.A baby isn't going to starve to death in that amount of time. Like I said it doesn't really matter if there is just adults around but you shouldn't do it when there is little kids. Or anyone under at least 16. Would you think it appropriate if it was a mans job? If a man unzipped and dropped his pants in the middle of a neighborhood park full of kids so that his child could eat/drink?
Aug 17, 2012
You cant even see nipple so it doesnt count
Aug 17, 2012
You cant even see nipple so it doesnt count
Aug 17, 2012
As a mother who was not able to breastfeed, I find the "breast is best" message to be offensive. After my daughter was born at 31 weeks, I found I could not breastfeed, which made me feel inadequate. I was repeatedly told that I had to nurse, how it was so much better for my preemie, etc. I met with LCs, took Reglan, guzzled Mother's Milk tea, pumped regularly, and, still, I still was not able to produce enough milk to feed my daughter. I didn't have a choice – I couldn't do it.
I find the overall lack of support for mothers appalling – moms who formula-feed are seen as selfish, while moms who breastfeed are perceived as judgmental "nipple nazis." How about we support all mothers, regardless of their choices or physical limitations? Mothering a baby is hard enough!
Aug 17, 2012
As a mother who was not able to breastfeed, I find the "breast is best" message to be offensive. After my daughter was born at 31 weeks, I found I could not breastfeed, which made me feel inadequate. I was repeatedly told that I had to nurse, how it was so much better for my preemie, etc. I met with LCs, took Reglan, guzzled Mother's Milk tea, pumped regularly, and, still, I still was not able to produce enough milk to feed my daughter. I didn't have a choice – I couldn't do it.
I find the overall lack of support for mothers appalling – moms who formula-feed are seen as selfish, while moms who breastfeed are perceived as judgmental "nipple nazis." How about we support all mothers, regardless of their choices or physical limitations? Mothering a baby is hard enough!
Aug 17, 2012
Yes it does. And sometimes you can. It depends on the size of it and the size of the babys mouth. Besides if nothing other than the nipple is inappropriate the why did we have the dress code change? Why do people not walk around with just mini bikini tops all the time?
Aug 17, 2012
Yes it does. And sometimes you can. It depends on the size of it and the size of the babys mouth. Besides if nothing other than the nipple is inappropriate the why did we have the dress code change? Why do people not walk around with just mini bikini tops all the time?
Aug 17, 2012
It's just its not a sexual thing it's like a cow giving milk. It's not like you're exposing people to pornographic material.
Aug 17, 2012
Amen!
Aug 17, 2012
I know but its the little kids that don't need to see it! I don't give a crap if there is just adults around but you shouldn't do it with little kids in the room.
Aug 17, 2012
Breast feeding does not make you a better mom than a bottle feed baby. I bottle feed all 6 of mine. I am a happier and better mother bottle feeding. I have friends that are happier mothers breast feeding. All that matters is what makes the mom happy then the baby will be happy.
Aug 17, 2012
When we were in the hospital with our first child, an LC literally said that 98% of women "had no problem breastfeeding." I immediately questions why, if such a huge majority had no problem, did they have an entire lactation department fully staffed with LCs that were at your beck and call. Bravo to the women who can breastfeed, but if your milk doesn't come in or the child doesn't quite latch on, there's nothing wrong with formula feeding. I've actually seen women I know refuse to give formula even if the baby is hungry, insisting they're getting enough from the breast. It's such a political topic, and it really shouldn't be. And honestly, aside from the mother (and to some degree the father), it's none of anyone's business really.
Aug 17, 2012
I had a horrible time after my first trying to breastfeed. She would not latch on. The nurses were mean. Brian kicked the nurse out called another and told her to bring us a bottle. I cried because I thought I let him down. Brian looked at me and said lets go home and have a beer.
It is NOT easy!
Aug 17, 2012
Sara, if you haven't read Tina Fey's book Bossypants, you must must must read what she has to say about "breast is best"
Aug 17, 2012
Well said Sara. I am the mom of one adopted baby and one NICU baby. Neither were breast fed and like you i did everything i could to make it work for my NICU baby. I can safely say that the lack of breast milk certainly had no impact on their growth or health. Especially my NICU baby, she Is 4 ft 10 at 8 years old! I applaud all moms regardless of their choice.
Aug 17, 2012
I had trouble too. What milk I could produce was like gold. My son wasn't getting enough so we had to bring in formula.
Aug 17, 2012
I had trouble too. What milk I could produce was like gold. My son wasn't getting enough so we had to bring in formula.
Aug 17, 2012
As a man, allow me to say that breastfeeding is gross and ruins nice titties.
Aug 17, 2012
As a man, allow me to say that breastfeeding is gross and ruins nice titties.
Aug 18, 2012
I agree. I think that breast feeding advocates need to rethink the way they give their message. They DO make women who don't choose to breast feed feel guilty about it and after all the years of oppression by men, I don't need to feel oppressed by other women, too. Sorry, but been there, done that, didn't like it, and resent the whole thing. No one has any right to make women feel selfish or "bad" because she doesn't want to breastfeed for whatever reason, or for some reason, just plain can't. It doesn't work for everyone, you know. Really, it doesn't.
Aug 18, 2012
I never even tried to breast feed mine. Boobs are for lovin not for eatin IMO. Lol.
Aug 18, 2012
I understand their message but it is over the top. There should be no guilt at all in how one feeds their child as long as the child is fed properly. I had issues too and it made me feel so rotten. Took a kind person who is highly pro-breastfeeding to come to me and say "is he fed? yes? then good, don't worry about the rest" A parent shouldn't ever have to feel that guilt and it is sad that many do.
Aug 18, 2012
Pay no attention to them, my husband and I can't even have kids and all people want to do is shut us up and tell us it's ok. Nobody even wants to hear about it. Well it is not OK. Nobody gets to tell you or me what is OK and what isn't. You are no less than any other mother, that is utterly ridiculous. Just like I am no less because I don't have children. Sometimes people really suk.
Aug 18, 2012
I am so grateful I wasn't breast fed, it's bad enough I came out of where I did; and how she loves to remind us. The last thing I want to imagine is being latched to my mother's breast.
Aug 18, 2012
You have a good opinion. As a mother who breastfed all 3 kids doing it tactfully is good. Ive never gotten grief about it because i do cover up. I may nurse where ever i am but always but a blanket over me unless im home with immediate company
Aug 18, 2012
Aug 18, 2012
I had similar issue and am still given the look (when the subject comes up) for not having brest-fed – my son is 10 now. Some people only feel fulfilled if others are made to feel less. I try to have sympathy for them.
Aug 18, 2012
Np. I do disagree to a point. I dont see breastfeeding as vulgar but i do not just bare my breast infront of other people's children because i feel its not my place. But both of my sons have seen me nurse my daughter without covering up. But that's my choice. I see breastfeeding as natural and its ok for my kids to see it as natural and wouldn't be offended if another woman did it infront of them. But again that's my decision. I wouldnt make that decision for another parent which is why i may not leave or go to a bathroom but i always cover up with a blanket.
Aug 18, 2012
All I have to say to this is mind your own f'in business. If I want to breastfeed or bottle feed it's my husband's and I concern not the public domain. So, back off!
Aug 18, 2012
breast feeding is best for child and mother, it should not be such a debated issue, it is natural,
Aug 18, 2012
yep, I got a pump from WIC!
Aug 18, 2012
Forget that Sara, I was adopted so clearly I couldn't be a breast fed baby and I feel I turned out Good
There are many things they "claim" are so good for the baby… as far as I am concerned if you simply Love your baby with all your might and give them any type of food/nutrients/bottles etc.. they will be just fine in every way that matters !
Aug 18, 2012
Yes, it's natural, but not always feasible or desirable, and that's okay. We live in a society of choices.
Aug 18, 2012
I am for the Mom who does what is best for her and her baby. I have done both and my children are grown and thriving 19 & 20 year olds. I do completely feel you should not have been breastfeeding in the SHOE DEPT when they provide you a beautiful cozy comfortable area separate from the bathroom in Macy's. They probably came and asked you to please go to the area designed especially for nursing mothers and you got offended. I think you should have gotten your tired behind up and walked it there. That actually would have been more peaceful and relaxing for you and your baby. Lots of places have perfectly comfortable nursing areas for the Moms who want to get out of the house & mingle & spend money. And that's my 5 cents.
Aug 18, 2012
I am for the Mom who does what is best for her and her baby. I have done both and my children are grown and thriving 19 & 20 year olds. I do completely feel you should not have been breastfeeding in the SHOE DEPT when they provide you a beautiful cozy comfortable area separate from the bathroom in Macy's. They probably came and asked you to please go to the area designed especially for nursing mothers and you got offended. I think you should have gotten your tired behind up and walked it there. That actually would have been more peaceful and relaxing for you and your baby. Lots of places have perfectly comfortable nursing areas for the Moms who want to get out of the house & mingle & spend money. And that's my 5 cents.
Aug 18, 2012
I agree with you, Mich! I nursed three out of four, and while I felt it was best for my babies and me, I never, ever nursed out in the open. I nursed in lounges and places that were private and was always very discreet. It was more comfortable for me and for those around me
Aug 18, 2012
Hahaha I had no idea this posted to my wall hahaha drinking a beer & feeling fiesty…oh no hope that didn't post on the inquisitr lol
Aug 18, 2012
Nursing in a shoe dept is because she wanted to keep looking at shoes lol!!!!
Aug 18, 2012
Kevin Carr Hospitals are staffed with LCs because breastfeeding is not intuitive. Women need that support to learn to breastfeed if that is their wish. And few hospitals even offer this basic service. Also, breastfed babies DO get enough from the breast, no supplemental formula is required.
Aug 18, 2012
Then there are some women who take it to the extreme and whip their bare breast out in a public restaurant to breast feed without even covering up and then try to sue the restaurant for nicely asking her to cover up. She saying it's her "right" to breast feed in public. That is so brazen and stupid. That's like pulling down your pants to scratch your bum because it's your right to scratch it.
Aug 18, 2012
That is a very good point, Kathy Paule Schnell. I never had to strip off to breastfeed, and most of the time no one knew.
Aug 18, 2012
Michele, this was in 2000, and there was no separate nursing area, or obviously I would have gone there. It was the Christmas rush, my baby had been crying from hunger for 10 minutes, and it was literally the first seat I found. The woman said "the restroom," and this Macy's (the Smithhaven Mall in Lake Grove, NY) did not, at least then, have a lounge in the bathroom.
Aug 18, 2012
Kay, some babies will not tolerate a blanket over their heads and then not eat. My son was fine nursing under a blanket (which I feel attracts far more attention) while my daughter never allowed it. She would scream, fuss, push it off and become more and more agitated the more I tried to cover her face.
Aug 18, 2012
Courtney, would you eat a sandwich in a restroom stall? It is unsanitary and vulgar, and no humans should be made to eat next to people defecating, even if they are too young to object. Bathrooms are not a place to consume food.
Aug 18, 2012
Thank you!
Aug 18, 2012
True…
Aug 18, 2012
I think this is also an urban legend. I have never seen a woman with a breast bared nursing, though I would have shaken her hand. But you are fundamentally wrong in that a woman has a right to breastfeed in any place she legally has a right to be. That is the law, and it is that way for a reason.
Aug 18, 2012
Kim, back then they may have been more refined to a central Mall Restroom & Lounge Area. Before all of the major stores started renovating individually. I imagine it was pretty stressful for you that day. But I believe most people are generally good and they weren't doing it to you to be mean. Who could be so outwardly mean and do that to a woman with a crying baby in their arms? Probably an employee who obviously needed better customer service skills on such a touchy subject. Things are better these days.
Aug 18, 2012
Yeah, I don't think it was to be mean, I just think that a lot of people see it like moms are breastfeeding AT them, when really, they just don't have a place to go. I could have walked another ten minutes to the car but it was about 20 degrees, and I could have put the car on but then we're talking about going a far distance to a suboptimal location when there was a chair right there!
Aug 18, 2012
It's Madison Avenue's campaign to make women feel exposed and self conscious about doing something that is absolutely natural and right.
Aug 18, 2012
Babies need to eat. Period. Nobody should feel bad for doing the most basic parenting requirement.
Aug 18, 2012
As a breastfeeding mother, I have breastfed both of my children, I personally find the fact that people are attacking mothers (for any feeding reason) offensive. Breast is best but if it doesn't work it doesn't work. you do what you feel comfortable with your lifestyle, and your body. Both of my infants were (are) chubby chubby chubby which in and of itself is a sign they are getting enough to eat. Even though I was experienced it was still a huge relief to have some help with my second one as I was having latch issues and issues with my milk coming in. Sometimes its a bit of a pain but a cover always works and if you cant see my breasts you cant complain! I have bottle of milk in the fridge and my husband and child help feed my sone regularly, he sleeps 6+ hours a night at 3 months old and it sure is nice being able to whip out a breasy already warmed up and not have to mess around with a bottle at 3 am!
Aug 18, 2012
As a breastfeeding mother, I have breastfed both of my children, I personally find the fact that people are attacking mothers (for any feeding reason) offensive. Breast is best but if it doesn't work it doesn't work. you do what you feel comfortable with your lifestyle, and your body. Both of my infants were (are) chubby chubby chubby which in and of itself is a sign they are getting enough to eat. Even though I was experienced it was still a huge relief to have some help with my second one as I was having latch issues and issues with my milk coming in. Sometimes its a bit of a pain but a cover always works and if you cant see my breasts you cant complain! I have bottle of milk in the fridge and my husband and child help feed my sone regularly, he sleeps 6+ hours a night at 3 months old and it sure is nice being able to whip out a breasy already warmed up and not have to mess around with a bottle at 3 am!
Aug 18, 2012
*breast
Aug 18, 2012
I have never been asked not to feed, but i always have a cover over my breast, not just whipping them out to feed.
Aug 18, 2012
Agreed. As an adoptive mom, I had no choice but to feed formula to my baby.
Aug 18, 2012
Agreed. As an adoptive mom, I had no choice but to feed formula to my baby.
Aug 18, 2012
UGH..so annoying. I was physically unable to breastfeed either of my children, and they make you feel HORRIBLE about it. Have you read some of the blogs out there too?..seriously some of these women act like they have liquid gold coming out of their boob and that your child is going to die if you don't breastfeed. It is seriously just another topic for some moms to try to act like the superior parent, and tell someone else how to raise ther child. Both my kids were formula fed and are just fine! ..and the whole breastfeeding your 4 year old is just disturbing!
Aug 22, 2012
http://www.wmur.com/news/nh-news/Protest-sparked-over-breastfeeding-in-restaurant/-/9857858/16021684/-/mg33ag/-/index.html?absolute=true
Dec 9, 2012
True but there are many natural things we do that don't have to be witnessed in public places.