Posted in: Celebrity News

House To TSA Officials: Stop Patting Down Beyonce

Beyonce Knowles

The US House of Representatives has a very important announcement, they would like the TSA to stop patting down Beyonce when she passes through airport security.

Rep. Mike Rogers, head of the House Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee recently told the agency that Beyonce is “not going to blow a plane up.”

Rogers’ argument is simple:

“There are certain people that are just so well-known that you’ve just got to use your common sense.”

Rogers also said Henry Kissinger and Donald Rumsfeld should get a free pass on the pat downs.

TSA boss John Pistole took the comments one step further, noting that new TSA protocols are already focusing on passengers they know very little about. Pistole mentions that seniors over 75 can now keep their outerwear and shoes on during screenings. According to Pistole:

“If we have treated somebody unprofessionally, then shame on us because we have not done the job that we are expected to do.”

The TSA must be doing something right or air travelers have just stopped caring because complaints against the agency were down to 1,294 in March 2012, an improvement over the same time period in 2011 when 1,445 complains were filed.

Exactly how TSA officials are suppose to recognize famous people and give them a free pass is not known.

In the meantime it can’t be hard to spot Beyonce and her entourage which often includes her equally famous husband Jay-Z.

Do you think celebrities who are well known should be given a pat down pass by the TSA or go through the same process as everyone else?

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7 Responses to “House To TSA Officials: Stop Patting Down Beyonce”

  1. Mike Harry

    But keep feelin' up children and old people in wheel chairs, eh? Just don't inconvenience the celebrities or the political class. How repulsive this whole TSA theater is.

  2. YarnBabe

    EVERYONE should get a 'pass' from this criminal agency that spits on the Rights of innocent travelers and sexually assaults them!
    Eliminate the TSA!

  3. Baruch Zeichner

    By all means, pop stars and famous fascists should get a free pass.

  4. Gregory McGee

    And so it starts- the well-known or well-connected get a free pass, while us mundanes have to deal with getting felt up.

  5. Marsha Browne

    Hell NO, I don't thing "fame" should be any criteria for deciding who gets a pat-down or not. In fact, I believe that famous people are MORE dangerous and MORE likely to perform acts of international terrorism (Rumsfeld, Kissinger, anyone?) than anybody else in the country. I recommend TSA immediately add vaginal wanding, colonospy and proctology exams in the mix for people who are well-known.

  6. Sommer Gentry

    The TSA claims that it, "carefully weighs the intrusiveness of those measures against the need to prevent terrorist attacks involving aircraft." Thus, the TSA has no business frisking Henry Kissinger, because he is a public figure whose probability of being a suicidal terrorist is ZERO in every version of reality that can be distinguished from paranoid delusional psychosis.

    I think the Deseret News had it exactly right when commenting on the TSA's detainment of Rand Paul: "No doubt many people would hail the fact that prominent or famous people are not treated differently than ordinary folks during the screening process. They are missing the point. The TSA exists to protect people as they use the airways, which are essential to the modern economy. They do not exist to provide some sort of civics lesson. Treating everyone the same leaves the system vulnerable to people who will slip through undetected while agents are preoccupied with people who obviously pose no risk."

    Let me repeat that: The TSA does not exist to provide some sort of civics lesson, whereby all Americans deserve be harassed and sexually humiliated in public equally. The commenters here who say we should treat everyone the same are missing the point: pretending we believe senators and senior statesmen might be terrorists makes us less, not more secure. And the point was supposed to be security, right?

    Before you all get up in arms against me, take this to its full logical conclusion. The probability that any passenger on any airplane is a suicidal terrorist is far, far less than one in one billion. We are all just about as likely as Kissinger was last week to try to blow up an airplane. Thus, the "balance" that TSA describes above leads to the obvious conclusion that intrusive searches should never be inflicted on any passenger without articulable suspicion, a warrant, or probable cause.

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