Cunning Victim Tells Mugger: ‘I Work For The NSA, We’ll Find You,’ Keeps Wallet And Phone

Listen up, would-be victims: Some quick, topical thinking can save you from personal harm and the headache of cancelling all of your credit cards.

To wit, the Washington Examiner has a great story today about a meek, 95-pound woman who out-smarted her mugger and walked away with all of her goodies. How? She said she worked for the NSA.

It basically went like this: She was walking home to her Capitol Hill townhouse on Monday night when she was confronted by a mugger in the dark. He violently grabbed her arm and demanded her wallet. She told him that she was a furloughed government worker, and that she didn’t have any cash on her.

(In fact, she’s a staffer at a D.C. nonprofit, and did have cash on her.)

He then demanded her phone so that the mugging wouldn’t be a complete loss. She said that he was welcome to her phone, which was protected in a pink-and-blue Lilly Pulitzer case. But there’s a caveat.

She explained that she’s actually an NSA intern, that her phone was government property, and that the controversial spy group would be able to track it within minutes.

After that, she said the mugger just “looked at me and ran away.”

She got lucky, and showed that keeping up with current events is advantageous even in unexpected ways. She admitted to following recent developments with the NSA and the government shutdown, and took advantage of last week’s announcement that 70 percent of the intelligence community had been furloughed.

But even though her neighborhood is hardly a stranger to violent crime, she said that she hadn’t been rehearsing in case of an attempted robbery. “I said the first thing I could think of,” she admitted.

[Image: Shutterstock]