You Can Now Hire Award Winning Screenwriters To Write Your Wedding Toast

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Many newlyweds have struggled over writing a successful wedding toast, with many speeches lasting too long, being too boring, or just missing the mark. In fact, Brides.com named the wedding toast as one of their top ten most hated aspects of weddings, as voted by users.

However, a new service helps those in need, by letting award-winning screenwriters do the writing to get that standing ovation, according to Insider Hook.

The new company, called Tinseltown Toasts, promises to deliver movie perfect speeches that will wow any crowd.

“Perfect movie moments don’t just appear out of thin air. ​They happen because storytelling-obsessed screenwriters lose sleep over building narrative architectures that develop meaningful dramatic, comedic and emotional resonance.”

Thought the writers have remained anonymous, a source explained why they developed their business.

“When people know you’re good with words, they ask for a lot of wordsmithing help… and ghostwriting favors become more complex as time goes on, but they’re still almost always romantic in nature.”

The screenwriters claim that they write dramas, comedies and “everything in between,” and can boast two Golden Globe nominations, a WGA Award nomination and a GLAAD nomination from their core group of writers. The screenwriters have also claimed to have worked for Sony, Fox, Warner Brothers, HBO, and ABC.

toast at wedding
Featured image credit: Alasdair ElmesUnsplash

According to their website, the process is incredibly simple. Every speech is made from scratch, and the writers have a discussion with the toaster about the object of the toast to get an idea of the relationship. The screenwriters also pay attention to “unconscious themes or patterns in the way clients speak about the person they are honoring” to make the speech sound as authentic as possible.

The writing process takes a month, at which point the writers will mail a rough draft which the toaster can then edit or give notes in order to create a memorable speech.

The service comes as more and more millennials are feeling the pressure to have a perfect wedding, especially since social media documents every aspect of the event and broadcasts it to the world. Nerd Wallet estimates that the average couple will spend a whopping $34,000 to achieve their dream nuptials.

In addition to wedding toasts, the screenwriters have written retirement speeches, commencement addresses, and even eulogies and have made offers to write everything from breakup emails to a notice of resignation.

However, there is one area that Tinseltown Toasts will avoid.

“I think it’s safe to say we’re going to steer clear of college application essays,” one writer joked.