An astrologer has speculated that the recently unearthed ninth planet might have been discovered by David Bowie long before Professor Mike Brown laid claim to the mysterious heavenly body.
Although the actual existence of the ninth planet, or as some know it, Planet Nine, has yet to be confirmed, many are already gushing that the new planet on the block is not only real, but could usher in a new dawn for humanity.
And there are even some who are suggesting that David Bowie predicted the big lump of rock’s arrival when he wrote Blackstar.
As claims go, it’s a big one, but then astrologers do love a statement with an elaborate flourish. As is the case with Jonathan Gainer in the Daily Mail who put two and two together and came up with a David Bowie/Planet Nine conspiracy all of his own.
Gainer writes that it’s not just boffins in the world of astronomy who are getting hot under their collars when it comes to the possible existence of a brand new planet, astrologers are too, and the hordes of stargazing soothsayers are probably already calculating the ways planet has a direct influence on our finances and health, and our chance of meeting a very special person next Thursday.
Gainer explained that the ninth planet heralds the arrival of a more caring and trusting society, and of course will improve our love lives significantly. Not to mention how it promises to radically alter our finances and the way we view money.
Although he admits there’s no tangible, physical proof to prove the existence of Planet Nine, Gainer explains that’s part of its charm and also part of its test. He also adds, astrologers don’t need any cold, hard proof, because they always knew planet nine was there, lurking like an uninvited guest at the fringes of the solar system.
“How interesting then, that in the moment of its very first appearance, this mysterious new planet is inviting us all to take a leap of faith and believe what previously seemed entirely unbelievable.
“Astrologers, by the way, have long had such faith. We knew it would only be a matter of time before a new planet was discovered and have been cautiously expecting it to surface any decade now.”
Gainer then adds that although experts have informed us that it could be five years before we get the full evidence of Planet Nine’s existence, but not before asking is there some hidden synergy here?
“Five Years? Wasn’t that one of David Bowie’s seminal songs? Might there be some synergy here? Some internet mystics already seem to think so.
“Could this, indeed, be the very same ‘Blackstar’ that he prophesied with the title of the album released just before his death?”
Putting aside the extremely disturbing phrase “internet mystic” to one side for a minute, let’s examine the evidence.
Bowie, also known as the “man who fell to earth” and “Ziggy Stardust,” was a cosmic character who loved singing about space oddities and starmen waiting in the sky, but for all his significant talents, did Bowie really know something about the solar system that even NASA were unaware of? Namely the existence of Planet Nine?
“As for what Planet Nine may eventually be known as — that’s a job for the International Astronomical Union (IAU), who famously take their time coming up with any new name.
“Astrologers, by long tradition, accept that the astronomers who do the naming are being inadvertently guided by a force more magical than they realize. The new arrival may briefly pick up an interim popular nickname and there may be some clue, in that, about its eventual relationship with the zeitgeist.”
So, the Bowie fans who had high hopes Planet Nine would be named after their hero were not flogging a dead horse after all. Yet, the IAU eventually decided naming a planet after Bowie would open the floodgates to universal chaos.
“We have seen this proposal but we certainly wouldn’t choose, with all respect for David Bowie, that name. It would not be adequate.”
Couldn’t we, perhaps, name it after Bono?
[Photo by MediaPunch/AP]