A 32-year-old woman recently declared that she is quite frustrated with how her mom continues to act like a grandmother to her surrogate daughter. While family branches extend to certain normal points, it is extremely crucial to understand the difference between “supportive” and “overstepping.” However, according to the woman, her mother is running for the “World’s Best Grandma” title, and she would do anything for it, including pissing off her own daughter.
The woman recently posted on Reddit what is actually going on inside her family. She wrote that her husband, 35, was married to Mark, 36, before they tied the knot five years ago. Despite parting ways, the two have remained close friends over the years. Mark’s new husband, Alex, 34, later entered the scene, and the two have been trying to start a family ever since.
They have tried everything and even faced some challenges with surrogacy. While this might appear strange to many, given their close relationship, the woman offered to be their surrogate. Thus, Lily was born, and Alex and Mark were overjoyed to finally become parents.
However, the situation got complicated when the surrogate mom’s mother, 60, became “overly involved.”
“During my pregnancy, she was supportive, which I appreciated. However, since Lily’s birth, she’s been acting as though she’s Lily’s grandmother,” the woman wrote. She added that her mother refers to herself as “Grandma,” and even shares photos of Lily on her social media with captions like “My precious granddaughter.”
Her posts will make anyone think that Lily is her “own granddaughter.” “[She] even tries to make parenting decisions, like suggesting feeding schedules and sleep routines,” the surrogate mother added, declaring her frustration over the situation.
She continued that she had tried a lot to gently explain to her mom that even though she carried Lily, she was not going to be her mother, and therefore, the 60-year-old also couldn’t bag the “World’s Best Grandma” title.
“But she becomes defensive, saying things like, ‘blood is thicker than water,’ and ‘you gave birth to her; that makes her family.” The woman added that eventually, she had an open conversation about boundaries and respect with her mother, but instead, she felt hurt and even accused the woman of “denying her the joy of being a grandmother.”
The woman then presented her fellow users of the forum with a question: “AITA for setting these boundaries with my mom?”
Some users felt what she was feeling. The situation is already complicated, and with her own mom acting like that, it becomes way more challenging for her to navigate.
One user replied, “It is important that she stop claiming to be her grandmother before Mark and Alex hit her with a restraining order or take some legal action.”
Another chimed in, “Are Mark and Alex aware of and OK with pictures of her being posted?” A third suggested, “But your mom needs to see this baby less as she can’t respect your position in this matter.”
What do you think? Is the woman right to set boundaries in this matter?
