Buffy and Avengers director Joss Whedon’s ex-wife, Kai Cole, penned a scathing blog post on August 20 for The Wrap, revealing that during their 17-year marriage, Whedon’s “feminism” was for public consumption only .
Whedon and Cole separated in April, 2012, Us Weekly reported, and Whedon filed for divorce on December 8, 2012. The divorce was finalized July 1, 2016, in Los Angeles, according to Us Weekly . Cole wrote in her blog post that Whedon was content to let the public think the couple was still married, although they had lived separately for five years.
“As a guilty man I knew the only way to hide was to act as though I were righteous. And as a husband, I wanted to be with you like we had been. I lived two lives… In many ways I was the HEIGHT of normal, in this culture. We’re taught to be providers and companions and at the same time, to conquer and acquire — specifically sexually — and I was pulling off both!”
Chloe Bennet (l) Joss Whedon and Elizabeth Henstridge (r) at the Los Angeles premiere of “Avengers: Age Of Ultron” April 13, 2015. [Image by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP Images]
Cole wrote in The Wrap that during her 20-year relationship with Whedon , he “used his relationship with me as a shield … so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.”
Alyson Hannigan, left, and honoree Joss Whedon arrive at the Make Equality Reality Gala in Beverly Hills in 2013. [Image by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP Images]
Cole wrote that when Whedon confessed his multiple infidelities after 15 years of marriage , she went from “being a strong, confident woman” to a “confused, frightened mess.” Eventually diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Cole now reports that she is “doing architecture again” and is getting her life and self-esteem back.
“While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife,” Whedon’s spokesperson told The Wrap.