Von Miller has openly complained about getting fined for farting. Apparently, excessive flatulence is unacceptable and Broncos’ players are liable to a penalty.
Broncos’ linebacker Von Miller evidently passed one too many for the management to whip out the penalty and ask him to write a check. It is believed Miller does pass gas on a regular basis, and the team is so upset about his seemingly incessant flatulence they have issued a punishment.
Miller revealed that he regularly gets fined by the Broncos for passing gas during team meetings
Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he’s been fined the most.
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) June 3, 2015
Such rules are rather unheard of, but evidently Broncos has a “Fart Tax.” It is interesting to note that Miller thinks the team management made him pay the most. Miller, the Broncos’ standout pass rusher, went on to explain this unfortunate episode of “Athletes: They’re Just Like Us!”
Since I’ve received numerous inquires about the Broncos’ Fart Tax, I’m gonna let Von explain. NFL dieting ain’t easy. pic.twitter.com/OTAAaI8t82
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) June 3, 2015
The above tweet explains a lot about Miller, who may have been guilty of causing quite a few disruptions in the team meetings, forcing the team members to momentarily disperse and later regroup owing to his flatulence. Interestingly, Miller also let us know of a loophole within the Fart Tax that prevented the management from levying the penalty if he or any other player chose to get up and walk away.
But what the tax seems to clearly imply is that you aren’t allowed to fart during the meetings. Flatulence might be a very natural thing, expelling unwanted gas from the body at regular intervals, but just how much are the guys at Denver Broncos letting loose as to force the management to establish such a rule and a penalty?
If the Broncos have a rule, perhaps it might be safe to check with your company if it has some similarly absurd policy. Farting in the company of others is certainly an unsavory habit, and modern etiquette forbids it completely. However, if the power of suggestion fails, which the Broncos might have attempted with Von Miller on countless earlier occasions, perhaps a stern rule and a penalty clause might do the trick.
Today’s a cheat day on @Millerlite40 ‘s diet. Which would explain … pic.twitter.com/kVeGC4CMwW
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) June 3, 2015
What’s surprising is that farting is an offense liable for a penalty, but team president John Elway isn’t much concerned about hygiene. Broncos’ Mark Schlereth has urinated on the field so often that he has earned the nickname “Stink.”
Von Miller even added he was fined the most, but he did not clarify how much. He has left many other questions unanswered like how the fines are calculated, if only audible farts count, and who keeps check on such matters. Hopefully, such details might leak soon.
[Image Credit | Scott Halleran / Getty Images]
