A woman on Reddit declared she won’t celebrate her husband’s birthday anymore after a decade of trying to make it special for him. She wrote a long post on r/TrueOffMyChest explaining how 10 years and 10 birthdays with her husband have turned out to be.
She wrote, “First birthday spent together, he suffered a huge loss. I comforted and supported him through it and still tried to make him feel special/celebrated.” The Reddit user clarified that her husband was one of the five kids, and his birthdays were great growing up.
So she thought she could create special memories, “I can save his birthdays!” She claimed she went above and beyond on each birthday. However, even after a decade of effort, her husband remains ungrateful.
She wrote. “Yes, he has resentment issues. Yes, he needs to talk to a therapist. Yes, I’ve recommended that to him many times in the last decade.” The last straw for her was when she threw him a surprise 40th birthday party as he was starting a new decade.
She planned a surprise birthday party along with his mom and also got him concert tickets. The woman wrote, “Did he enjoy his party? Nope. Afterwards, he complained about the food, the cake, the date, the time, how it was too far from his birthday, and on Easter weekend, so ‘clearly’ it wasn’t well thought out.”
Furthermore, she added that he complained about his sister, the budget of the party, the tickets, and how long people stayed at the party. She tried to be empathetic towards him on the day of his birthday, considering not reacting while being hurt. But she added that he was moody, negative, and picking fights.
So she snapped at him and said, “It is statistically impossible for someone to have 10 terrible birthdays in a row when you have a partner who actively tries to make them fun and special every single year. This is a choice; you are choosing to be unhappy on your birthday. You’re ungrateful, and I am over this.”
Several Redditors agreed with her point of view, while many wanted to know in detail what she did for his birthdays. They were also curious about what her husband did for her birthdays. One user wrote, “Well, your mistake was to stop thinking that you can ‘fix’ it. Let him do it on his own.”
Another one asked, “Why are you still with this guy? Don’t stop at cutting out birthdays. This guy has chosen for ten years to wallow in his childhood trauma and refuses to do the adult thing and take charge of his life. Frankly, I’m exhausted after reading your post.”
“He’ll be one of those “the divorce came out of nowhere!!!1!!” guys in the next year. So selfish and clueless,” wrote another one. In agreement with her post, one person suggested, “It sounds like you tiptoe around him a lot. You should let him know how hurtful this has been. Although if he had an ounce of self-awareness, he would already know that.”
Several Redditors called the husband manipulative and insecure. One user added that his childhood birthdays may not even have been bad, but that’s probably how he remembers them due to his “Mr Poor Me” attitude.
The Reddit post, which received high number of comments, has now been deleted by the user.
