It’s coarse, common, hugely popular, and both Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle are massive fans. We’re talking denim. But should the two Duchesses be so keen to dress like ranch hands when on public engagements?
Although Town and County magazine have published an article celebrating the royals doing denim in they own unique way, isn’t this obsession with jeans all a bit vulgar?
More to the point. Does Kate and Meghan’s love of a well-fitted pair of jeans leave King Charles III red-faced and squirming with embarrassment that two of the more prominent royals delight in dressing in a material adored by the masses?
The King, as we all know, would not allow herself to be spotted in public wearing a faded pair of Levi’s. Such a fashion choice would not only be a sartorial crime it could almost be construed as an act of treason.
Middleton and Markle, on the other hand, are an altogether different kettle of fish.
Kate and Meghan, as we all know, are not high-bred fillies but come from distinctly common stock. As such, the poor girls were previously unaware of the subtle dress distinctions that help maintain the British class system.
Tweed, corduroy, a well-cut blazer, and a nice pair of Wellington boots have long been the staples of a royal gal out and about. And now, while Kate and Meghan are no strangers to the contents of an upper-class wardrobe,they both have an innate attraction to high-street style and the garb of the common lass.
Like many hardworking and cheerful factory and office girls throughout Britain, the Duchesses delight in strutting their stuff in skinny jeans and ghastly footwear.
Unfortunately, when you opt to rock the casual look and let standards slide, other things begin to slide as well.
Beady-eyed observers have noticed that Kate and Meghan’s skinny jeans are guilty of having little more stretch than jeans in them of late. Resulting in the duchesses often finding themselves in the compromising and very un-royal position of having to hike the sagging offenders up around their waist in full view of a judgmental public.
At such moments of constitutional crisis, one’s thoughts turn to poor King Charles. What must His Majesty think of a young Middleton and Markle yanking up their jeans like a hairy builder after four pints, a curry, and an afternoon spent digging ditches?
The late dandy and rabid defender of sartorial elegance, Sebastian Horsley was fond of solemnly announcing, “There are only two things I cannot tolerate. The first is murder and the second is denim.”
Like leggings and tracksuit bottoms, denim has become the go to garment of choice in the modern world, and just like those aforesaid garments, it can all too often suggest that the wearer is lacking in moral fibre, has little or no imagination, and already has one foot on the slippery slope which leads to the inevitable outing to the supermarket wearing nothing but lightly-stained pajamas, an oversized dressing gown and a pair of ugly boots which carry the faint odor of dog excrement.
It just won’t do. And for a royal to persistently wear denim, it’s not just beyond the pale, it’s horrifically garish.
Like Middleton and Markle, many royals have made the mistake of rocking up to a public function in a pair of jeans. King Charles, on the other hand, knows better. How can anyone, even a monarch, look majestic in a pair of jeans?
Denim was invented purely because it was a sturdy material that could withstand a hard day of bareback riding and shovelling cow s**t.
We don’t expect our royal families to act like cowboys, so why should we accept it when they dress like them?
