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Oscars Swag Bags Include $45,000 In Liquor, Condoms, Shoes And Travel Vouchers

Richard Corliss unveils his choices for the Oscars

When people say that it’s an honor to just be nominated what they really mean is “it’s an honor to get all of this free stuff while people pat me on the back.” The Oscar Nominees Gift Big, also known as the swag bag, contains more than $45,000 worth of liquor, travel vouchers, condoms and clothes.

According to Reuters, the Los Angeles-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets will soon be handing out its annual “Everyone Wins at the Oscars Nominee Gift Bag.” So if Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t win for Silver Linings Playbook, she’ll still have a relatively good night.

So what’s in this year’s swag bag?

Oscar nominees who don’t get a little gold statue will receive a nice bottle of tequila to drowned out the pain of losing as well as a box of condoms for the Academy Award after party. Then they’ll be able to take a break from the pressures of Hollywood by cashing in on a travel voucher to Australia, Mexico or Hawaii. If they fly through London’s Heathrow Airport they’ll be able to use their new one-year membership to the VIP club.

Once they’re ready to get back to work they’ll be able to use their new tennis shoes, meal control dinnerware, and free fitness sessions to get ready for the next award season.

The Barrie Examiner notes that the children of Oscar nominees will also get a gift: Free enrollment to professional all-kid circus classes.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences used to hand out a gift bag to nominees but they stopped the practice in 2007. The swag bag isn’t officially endorsed by the Oscars but it’s a regular staple during reward season. Distinctive Assets have been handing out their gifts for the last decade.

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