‘Shameless’ Season 9 Premiere: Most Outrageous Moments [Opinion]

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STD outbreak, adultery, theft, gay Jesus, and homemade adult diapers, oh my! You know what that means? Shameless is back, baby!

Season 9 Episode 1, titled, “Are You There Shim? It’s Me, Ian,” kicked off the new season of the Showtime series with a bang last night. Here’s a closer look at some of the more outrageous moments from the season premiere.

Warning: Article contains spoilers for those who aren’t caught up on Season 9.

1. The Rat

If you weren’t paying attention to the first few seconds of the Season 9 premiere, you may have missed one of the most outrageous moments during the episode. At the very beginning of the episode, viewers witness a large rat and a small rat getting intimate. In true Shameless fashion, the larger rat finishes and runs out in the street only to get hit by a car.

2. Frank

There isn’t a moment during Season 9 Episode 1 that doesn’t have you sitting on the edge of your seat screaming “oh my god” when Frank Gallagher, played by William H. Macy, is on the screen. Early on in the episode, Frank awakes sleeping on the floor in a pool of his own vomit. In a hurry to get to a hook-up with a mom from Liam’s school, he uses the sponge that is presumably the same sponge used to wash the dishes to clean his body.

Macy’s character proceeds to jump from PTA mom to PTA mom when their husbands are away from home. Later in the episode, it is revealed that Frank has spread STD among the PTA community. Arguably the most outrageous scene in the entire episode is when it is revealed that every woman in the room had been intimate with Frank.

3. Kevin

Poor Kevin and Veronica are struggling to get a handle on their twins after removing Svetlana from their lives. Unfortunately, as those who follow Shameless news know, Isidora Goreshter will not be returning to Shameless to play Svetlana this season. So, Kevin and Veronica will have to figure it out on their own.

Kevin discovered when he started to treat his daughters less like they were children and more like they were dogs, it became easier to wear them out to the point of being tired. In one extremely outrageous scene, Kevin took the girls outside and played fetch with them until they fell asleep.

4. Debbie and the Diaper

Debbie learns her male co-workers are making more money than her simply because they are men and use the bathroom less than she does. So, Debbie took matters into her own hands and created a diaper out of baby diapers and duct tape. Using the diaper, she was able to work her entire shift without taking a single bathroom break. After sticking it to her boss, Debbie was able to secure her equal pay.

5. Ian and the Strike

Ian takes his role as gay Jesus to jail with him as he goes to war for the homosexual community within the prison walls. The red-headed Gallagher convinces the members of the homosexual community behind bars not to put out for their prison mates until they are treated with more respect. In time, Ian is successful in negotiating better conditions. At one point in time, Ian tells his sister Fiona, who was desperately trying to find bail to get him out of jail, that he “still had work to do” and wasn’t ready to be bailed out yet.

6. Lip and the Wedding

During the wedding, Lip finds himself being dragged to the closet to engage in an intimate act with a member of the wedding party. Unfortunately for Lip, the girl is so drunk and dizzy she throws up all over the floor. Feeling better after throwing up, she encourages Lip to continue. Instead of throwing in the towel, Lip continues while slipping and sliding in the pool of vomit.

7. Carl and Kassidi

While Carl didn’t really do anything too shameless during the season premiere, his wife Kassidi is a different story. Unwilling to part from her beloved, she set up camp on the other side of the fence from Carl’s military school and drove everyone crazy. The episode even ends with a bang as viewers are left to wonder whether one of Carl’s cadets killed Kassidi. If he didn’t kill her, what did he do with her?

The number of outrageous moments crammed into the Season 9 premiere was a little unbelievable, but that is part of the reason why fans love the series so much.

Season 9 Episode 2, titled “Mo White,” airs on Sunday, September 16, at 9 p.m. EST only on Showtime.