Christmas is coming and so is the latest installment in the Star Wars series – The Last Jedi.
The buzz is building, the tension is rising, and all sorts of speculation surrounding the fates of Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren, and Rey are running as rampant as a horde of hungry hogs in a field full of doughnuts.
Star Wars fans everywhere are feverishly caressing their Lightsabers and wondering if an aging Luke Skywalker can still cut is a Jedi now he sadly resembles a washed-up alcoholic who would look more at home on the slots machines in Las Vegas, as opposed to a cosmic druid restoring balance to the universe.
And then there’s the hot anticipation surrounding Kylo Ren. Can the sulky Sith finally slither out of Darth Vader’s shadow and become the sort of vile villain we all hoped he would be? As opposed to the sniveling teenage goth with a Marilyn Manson fixation and a habit of throwing tantrums which tainted the integrity of The Force Awakens like a bad perfume.
There’s also the question as to if Rey will be able to engage the viewer’s attention and imagination in a way that doesn’t resemble watching paint dry.
Perhaps the biggest mystery of all concerning The Last Jedi is the true identity of the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Or as he’s more commonly known – Snoke.
Although he may have the sort of name more associated with a working dog, Snoke was the best thing about The Force Awakens.
During his few minutes of screen time, Snoke, who kind of looked like what would have happened if Freddy Krueger and Pinhead from the Hellraiser films had mated, grabbed our attention like a Darth Vader death grip.
Here was a character beyond redemption. A character that wiped our minds clean of the terrible and unforgivable legacy of Jar Jar Binks. Snoke had the voice, the look, and the sort of demeanor that suggested he cackled a lot whilst blowing up planets and eating universes.
The only thing is – we didn’t know anything about this mad and crazy giant hologram with the master-plan.
Consequently, in the wake of The Force Awakens and in the build-up to The Last Jedi, there’s been all sorts of half-baked rumors and wild-eyed conspiracies concerning Snoke’s real identity and purpose in the wishy-washy world of Star Wars.
One of the best theories appears to suggest that Snoke is the ultimate Skywalker. In other words, he’s the dude whose seed impregnated some unsuspecting lass with young Anakin. That would not only make Snoke, Darth Vader’s dad, Luke Skywalker’s grandpa and Kylo Ren’s great grandaddy but he’d be the alpha male in the Skywalker dynasty. And that’s one bad clan to be the kingpin of.
Ladies and gentlemen will the Last Jedi please stand up?
[Featured Image by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images]