Kailyn, Here Is Your Baby Name [Opinion]

By the time you are done reading this, Kailyn Lowry may have already given birth to her third child. She was due back in June, but the stork remains disoriented and impalpable. Well assuming that she is still with child and still in the market for an unsexed name for said child, I have put together a list of names she may find most relevant.

“I like last names for first names, how do you feel about Murphy for baby Lo?” the Teen Mom 2 star asked her spate of fans earlier in the week. Murphy is a nice name. The cobbler who made sure my shoes, lasted from September to June back in elementary school was named Murphy. Though much like his trade, Murphy is dying and seldom seen. According to a recent poll, her fans don’t care much for the name either. Besides, Murphy rhymes with Smurf-y, and you just know the children at school are going to have a field day with that one.

Speaking of children, Kailyn has two boys with two different men, who were probably surprised – or not – to learn that her friend Chris Lopez (yeah, it’s always a friend) will be singing lullabies in an attempt to stave off colic soon enough. Now that we know daddy’s name, let’s choose one for the baby. Kailyn needs to look no further than her two boys, Isaac and Lincoln, in deciding a name for baby number three. They are both very strong names that call to mind men of renown.

Kailyn Lowry

Think Isaac Newton and Abraham Lincoln. Thinking men. Reputable men indeed. The former invented gravity, whilst the latter sported a beard all the way to the White House, the first President to do so I might add. Baby Lo should be named Newton or Abraham, or both. Who among you can say these names aren’t befitting a star on reality television? Heck, if the baby is a girl, with a name like Newton Abraham, you just know that in 18 years she is going to be hot. Even hotter if she is a he, and vice versa. I dare any second grader to find an unflattering moniker that rhymes with those names.

Then there is the name Lilac, the first letter of the name Lowry, sandwiched between the first and last syllables of Lincoln and Isaac respectively. Sounds like a flower you say? Well, you are wrong, it happens to be a shrub. A hauntingly fragrant shrub. Kailyn is already dropping hints as to the baby’s sex.

Kailyn Lowry Baby

“Well the baby’s room looks like it’s for a boy so that’s all I am used too lol,” she tweeted recently. In that case, the “l” in the middle, can be the first letter of father Chris’ surname, and the only part of him we get to see this season. In a recent promo for the new season obtained by Radar Online, Kailyn tells a friend that Chris will not be appearing on the show.

“He doesn’t want his other hoes to know about me.” Oh, cut the man some slack Kail, he may be camera shy or something. If he is not, then soon the pungent smell of upchuck and baby powder will give him away. That should lead these (ahem) girls to MTV, where they will not only get to know you but learn the name of your newest progeny as well.

[Featured Image by Valerie Macon/Getty Images]