Oh, Southern Charm fans, get ready for the most uncomfortable moments Bravo has ever packed into an hour because it’s time that Southern Charm producers decide that they are going to convince fans that there has never been a Thomas/Landon hook up. So tonight, seemingly at the command of Patricia Altschul, Landon and Thomas go on a real date, which according to Ravenel, is at dinnertime, not lunch time, because that means you are in the “friend zone.” Here’s to hoping that fans won’t be subjected to another pair of tight white jeans on an AARP member.
And yet, with Southern Charm, anything is possible because even though in Episode 1 of Southern Charm Season 4, it was teased that Thomas and Landon were dating, with the two living out her fantasy of walking her dog Charlotte together by the water, and sitting together on the Kathryn/Thomas bench pondering the sunset over the Ravenel Bridge, Thomas and Landon might have had a London hook-up, or spent Kathryn’s Valentine’s Day trip in a Savannah bed and breakfast, but they never dated. Just as the season started, Thomas Ravenel went public with his new girlfriend, and it seems that Landon is just fine with it, as the two ladies of Charleston posed together, and Landon, as she is wont to do, has liked every Instagram post Ashley H. Jacobs has put on the social media app.
But for now, Southern Charm fans are held hostage, forced to watch Thomas Ravenel pull out his best moves on an actual date with Landon, which of course includes winks that punctuate anything he perceives as clever (spoiler alert, not so much). The best part is that there is no French, or “Franglais,” the way Thomas speaks it. But that doesn’t mean that there will be no pretentious talk, as Thomas Ravenel lets everyone know that the bottle of wine he chooses is the most expensive Cabernet on the wine list.
But then Landon, 36, lays it out, saying that even though she knows beggars can’t be choosers, Thomas Ravenel, 55, is 20 years too old for her (tell that to the girls in undergrad programs that he usually picks up at Charleston bars), has a drug conviction, and in her words, a psycho baby mama. In other words, Thomas has too much baggage, and Landon knows all about baggage, because like she told Austen, that’s the best way to judge a potential mate when traveling together.
But Thomas Ravenel is not used to rejection, so he pulls out the big guns and starts allegedly quoting Chaucer and The Canterbury Tales, you know, the book with all the thees and thous, Old English and the like. But in all that, Thomas tells some real truth, saying that if he cared about what people thought, he would never leave the house. And then there is the totally unscripted random woman having dinner at the next table who tells Thomas that Landon is his soul mate. How many takes did it take for the random woman to share her thoughts on love and romance with Thomas and Landon?
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But no matter what, the ghost of Kathryn is looming, as Thomas ignores that cardinal rule of not talking about your ex on a date. Landon has to listen to the woes of a man who has to take care of his own children with the help of a full-time nanny. But at this time, Kathryn had regained visitation with the kids and was working towards shared custody, so really, Ravenel is doing what most parents around the globe do, which is raising his children, but he gets to do it without working full time and with domestic help.
As Landon’s fluffer, Patricia Altschul is going to be really disappointed, as she teed this one up perfectly for Landon, telling her that after one date, she could be guaranteed a ring and no prenup. You had one job Landon, and you blew it.
Do you believe that the Southern Charm date between Thomas and Landon was staged, or was it just a put on to stop talk that Landon and Thomas had hooked up previously?
[Featured Image by Bravo]