Barack Obama Still Looks Like A Guy Who Doesn’t Miss His Ex, The United States [Opinion]

Barack Obama is still out here looking like the guy who came out better in the breakup. The 444th POTUS looks younger, fitter, and has been having the time of his life ever since he left office.

He is officially “#breakupgoals.” The only hard part is that he broke up with a country who now has to deal with his replacement.

And make no mistake, there’s a lot of suffering going on. Between Muslim travel bans, the real chance of millions of people losing their healthcare and tiny Twitter fingers in The Oval Office, there a lot of misery to go around these days and lots of calls to “#resist’

So let’s do what everyone does when they’re in a new relationship with someone who makes their ex look way better. Let’s look longingly at photos of Barack Obama, the civilian, and remember how good it used to be.

That tan, that stance, those shorts. This photo brings back fond memories of that time when there was a President of The United States who didn’t call the media the “enemy of the American people.”

Remember that time when he didn’t insist that stories that criticized him were”fake news” and didn’t insult national treasure, Meryl Streep on Twitter.

Yeah, me too.

There it is, that smile that could launch a thousand stimulus packages. Kind of like the one he got passed while he was in office. You remember the one that caused unemployment claims to decline almost as soon as it was passed. TIME called it one of the greatest accomplishments of his presidency.


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And how could I forget the now infamous Necker Island vacation photos. TMZ said you were there for a week, but it felt like an eternity.

You really wanted to rub it in there didn’t you Barack. Were you humming that Joni Mitchell line, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone,” when these photos were taken because it sure looks like it!

These are just offensive, Mr President. And yes, I’m still going to call you that because I can.

It should be illegal for someone to look this pleased with himself. There’s also that video of you engaged in a feat of aqua sport endurance against Richard Branson.

Not only did you win two presidential elections, but you won a kit-surfing wager against a billionaire too. What can’t you do, Barack Hussein Obama. Tell us!

Barack Obama is the guy who got away. The guy who your mom insists– every single time you call– is the one you should have settled down with forever. Unfortunately, the United States couldn’t do that, something about it being unconstitutional or whatever.

But it’s still nice to look back and remember the way things were.

Do you miss Barack Obama’s presidency. Or are you pleased as punch with the way President Donald Trump and his team are currently handling things.

Tell me how you really feel in the comments below.

[Featured Image by Shawn Thew – Pool/Getty Images)