Kate Middleton may never see Prince William seize the British throne if a certain brash American has their wicked way.
And no, we’re not talking about a diabolical plot by Meghan Merkle to usurp Kate and Wills and put her flame-headed beau Prince Harry in contention for the number one spot in Bucks Palace.
We’re talking about a Colorado man named Allan V. Evans, who has recently taken out a massive advertisement in the Times that explains in no small detail how he is the rightful King of England, and how Kate Middleton and the rest of the Windsor clan better stick up their dukes in double quick time because he’s hot-footing it over the pond to take what he believes is his birthright.
In other words, Allan, or the descendant of Cunedda Wledig, as he’s known in more elevated circles, wants all historic royal estates, lands, assets, and titles handed over to him within 30 years, or he might just dress up in a suit of armor, hop on a stallion, and declare war.
Allan published a lengthy piece in the Times detailing exactly why as the descendant of Cunedda Wledig, founder of the Kingdom of Wales, he has more claim to the throne than Prince Charles or Kate and Wills.
Waxing lyrical about being a direct descendant of Cunedda Wledig, who was the founder of the Kingdom of Wales, then known as the Kingdom of Gondor, which all seems rather Tolkienesque, the Colorado pretender from an “unbroken primogeniture line” then lets the readership have it with both barrels and “gives legal notice, to all his relatives, Welshman, Scots, Manx, all Britons and any and all interested parties and persons, that in (30) thirty days’ time, that the said Allan V. Evans shall claim his royal estate which is a conglomerate of about (17) historic estates.”
An American has taken out a big ad in the Times to say he's the rightful king & intends to seize power. pic.twitter.com/ba1iQUyGer— DavidMapstone (@DavidMapstone) March 1, 2017
It’s strong stuff, but then again taking over a country always is, and although Prince William and Kate Middleton may not find themselves in such a favorable position once the “new king” takes over and rights “an injustice of history,” Queen Elizabeth need not be too concerned, because Allan, in his regal wisdom, has chosen to make certain allowances to a fellow monarch.
The man who would be king has declared that “out of greatest and most deepest respect for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,” he will not depose her in life, because of the “great service and selfless sacrifice that she and her husband HRH Prince Philip has rendered to this great nation.”
Yet once the queen is dead, Allan is determined it’ll be party time and he’ll let the world know through the medium of a press release.
“Take heed and rejoice, all Welshman, Scots, Manx, all Britons, and all citizens of this great nation called Great Britain, that the light of freedom and egalitarism shall be promoted and promulgated.
“Lady Britannia who has contributed so much to the culture and history of the world shall be renewed and made great once again; for the legend was not a myth but was indeed true, and more than a mere Tolkien story, that the men of the West are now returning and now is the time of the return of the King.”
Now, the only question remaining is, what will Kate Middleton choose to wear to Allan’s coronation, a high-street or designer outfit?
[Featured Image by Daniel Leal-Olivas/WPA Pool/Getty Images]