Some of you are watching the Oscars live online, but if you’re stuck at work or watching Big Love instead, we’ve got all the results live as they happen. The results will be continually updated here, so refresh to see the latest.
The red carpet festivities are currently underway, most recently with Anne Hathaway and a very terracotta colored Valentino being interviewed- she looks *amazing*, though. We hear Justin Timberlake is on his way up as well.
7:52 Reese Witherspoon is wearing Armani, and that is totally a weave.
7:56 So, that creepy pretzel-rape M&M commercial is still airing, huh?
8:01 Jennifer Hudson is wearing Versace and also looks amazing. Retro hair poof and floor length Marilyn dress. Natalie Portman is pregnant and in purple. Tassel earrings. Lots of blush.
8:03 James Franco, uncharacteristically adorable and talking about school. Awww…
8:05 Justin Timberlake! That is all.
8:14 OH NO! Gwyneth Paltrow is gonna sing. She’s wearing Calvin Klein and looks quite monochromatic.
8:26 Three minutes! Tom Hanks is talking about magic.
8:31 MONTAGE TIME! Oscars have started.
I N C E P T I O N
8:34 Morgan Freeman narration joke.
8:39 The James Franco/Anne Hathaway dynamic is pretty adorable, I have to say. Anne Hathaway is shouting out her mom in the audience.
First award! Best Art Direction goes to Alice in Wonderland.
Tom Hanks also presenting Best Cinematography, which goes to Inception.
8:52 The corpse of Kirk Douglas is presenting, or maybe just talking.
Best Supporting Actress… goes to (oh my god, spit it out Grandpa!) Melissa Leo for The Fighter. OMG, she swore!
9:01 Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake take the stage- “I’m Banksy!” They’re presenting Best Animated Feature. The Oscar goes to The Lost Thing. Best Animated Picture goes to Toy Story 3.
9:12 Best Adapted Screenplay goes to The Social Network. Best Original Screenplay goes to The King’s Speech.
9:24 Anne Hathaway is singing a parody of “On My Own” in a tux. James Franco is in drag. Russell Brand and Helen Mirren are presenting Best Foreign Picture, andthe Oscar goes to In a Better World. Why is this lady shaking?
9:31 Best Supporting Actor goes to Christian Bale.
9:41 Some boring, score-y thing is going on. Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman present Best Score to Trent Reznor and some guy for The Social Network. The Oscar for Sound Mixing goes to Inception. Sound Editing goes to Inception.
9:53 Cate Blanchett is presenting for Best Makeup. The Wolfman wins. Best Costume Design goes to Colleen Atwood for Alice in Wonderland.
10:12 Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams are presenting Best Short Documentary. Strangers No More wins. Best Live Action Short goes to God of Love. Sideshow Bob accepts.
“Tiny Ball of Fire.” W. T. F. ?
10:20 Oprah Winfrey presents Best Documentary. Inside Job wins. Oooh, it’s getting political. Charles Ferguson points out that not a single financial executive has gone to jail following the economic collapse. The audience applauds.
10:27 Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law are presenting Best Special Effects. RDJ pokes fun at himself, cutely. Inception wins. I N C E P T I O N. Best Editing goes to The Social Network.
10:40 Jennifer Hudson is presenting Best Original Song. Florence and the Machine are performing. Jennifer Hudson claps bitchily. Gwyneth Paltrow is singing, ew. She also looks seriously rough, and the white mic is not helping the whole ensemble. The Oscar goes to Randy Newman for “We Belong Together” in Toy Story 3.
Randy Newman, you have derailed.
10:52 Celine Dion performs for the montage of people who died this year. Someone who walked in the room: “Damn. For a second I thought Celine Dion died.” I LOL’d.
11:01 Hilary Swank is presenting Best Director, which goes to The King’s Speech.
11:11 Jeff Bridges is presenting Best Actress. NATALIE PORTMAN WINS FOR BLACK SWAN.
Sandra Bullock is presenting Best Actor. Pretty much everyone thinks it is going to go to Colin Firth. COLIN FIRTH WINS FOR THE KING’S SPEECH.
11:32 Steven Spielberg is presenting Best Picture. THE KING’S SPEECH WINS BEST PICTURE.
11:41 …and, a bunch of random kids from a school in Staten Island wrap it up with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”