Attention! “Chinese Food” Follows Up Rebecca Black’s “Friday” [Video]

alison gold chinese food

A new YouTube sensation, Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food,” follows up where Rebecca Black’s “Friday” left off — and the teen-centric ditty actually manages to make its predecessor look like a solid songwriting effort with an artsy video.

Ragging on “Chinese Food” seems wrong because it isn’t even a moving target. It’s a video we’re not even sure is a real song with tween singer Alison Gold, and the whole effort is just wrong from start to finish.

There are the inane lyrics, the questionable singing… and the racially insensitive everything could be like the premise of five separate posts.

“Chinese Food” is indeed the work of Ark Music Factory, the vanity production company behind Black’s “Friday” and, if we recall correctly, a place where people with money can pay to have someone put their kid in a music video.

Also like “Friday,” “Chinese Food” is probably destined to be posted, reposted, parodied, and posted again — and the chorus is just as brain-numbing:

I love Chinese food. You know that it’s true. I love fried rice, I love noodles, I love chow mein, chow m-m-m-mein.”

Throughout the video, ambient and not-seen-much today one-dimensional representations of Asian culture abound. There’s the Asian friend, cheerfully working the register at the Chinese joint.

There’s a Pedobear-like panda, creepily infusing the clip from end to end. And, we kid you not, dancing geisha girls with fans and white pancake makeup.

Plus, this one also has a rap:

Holla Chinese food and some wonton soup,

get me broccoli while I play Monopoly.

Don’t be a busy bee, cuz it’s your fantasy,

to eat Chinese food, egg roll, and chop suey.

I use the chopsticks, to eat potsticks,

put some hot sauce in sweet and sour, make it sweet.

Because Chinese food takes away my stress,

now I’m gonna go and eat Panda Express.

We’d credit Gawker for putting “Chinese Food” on our radar, but after watching Gold’s effort, we think they rather owe us an apology.