‘Two and a Half Men’ halted after Charlie Sheen’s candid radio rant

Oh, Charlie.

It seems when not writing fanfic or having a party schedule rotation that would make Bacchus blush, it seems Charlie Sheen enjoys spending his time listening to Alex Jones and occasionally calling in to make his opinions known. One such call has resulted in the suspension of Sheen’s sitcom Two and a Half Men, as well as a remarkably forward statement from the network about the show’s future as well as the relationship between the decision and Sheen’s earlier remarks.

So what did America’s Bad Boy say on the air? A whole bunch of things, many of which were pretty controversial. Such as a remark about Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, who is Jewish:

“I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a pussy punk that I’d never want to be like.”

Sheen also waxed lyrical about his fondness for porn stars and escorts, showing an almost touching reverence:

“Let me just say this about the goddesses. I don’t think the term is good enough. But when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions you must use the best choice available.

“So if you think about it dude, I’m oh-for-three with marriage with nary an excuse. Like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart—of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract I will leave to the amateurs and the bible-grippers.”

Sheen insisted he was clean at the time of the interview, and addressed why he believes his career endures despite the partying-related setbacks:

“I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

Do you hear that, America? Charlie sheen has more talent than you in his pinky, even when he’s sleeping. This circumstance clearly intimidates the top brass at CBS, because they rapidly released a statement saying in part:

Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of “Two and a Half Men” for the remainder of the season.

So- Charlie Sheen? Big badass or the biggest badass?

[Gawker]