October 6, 2013
Nuggets And A French Fry Please: Old Man Masturbates In McDonald's Drive-Thru

You know the website People of Walmart? Someone really needs to start a People of McDonald's Drive-Thru equivalent. A while back we reported on a couple who were caught driving through the drive-thru naked, then two months ago a customer was denied service on their horse and in response let it walk into the restaurant and poop on the floor. This time around we report on an old man masturbating as he attempts to pay for food.

69-year-old Steve Orville Clemons was arrested this week in Florida after he drove pantless through a McDonald's drive-thru.

According to a police report Orville ordered his food and then proceeded to pay the cashier. As the cashier turned back to face Orville and hand him his change, she realized he was not wearing pants and was most certainly masturbating.

The crazed sexual offender then grabbed the female by her hand and attempted to pull her into his window. According to the report, "she realized that he did not have any pants on and was masturbating at that time as well. The defendant grabbed the cashier's hand and attempted to pull her hand into his vehicle."

The McDonald's employees immediately called 911 on the McMasturbator after shutting her drive-thru window.

Police caught up with Orville at a nearby gas station and placed him under arrest. While still not wearing pants at the time of his arrest the creepy old man was at least finally covering up his junk with a t-shirt.

Orville was cited and released on $500 bail.

In his mugshot (pictured above) he is obviously smiling -- perhaps because he had a happy ending instead of a happy meal just before police arrested him.

Orville will be arraigned on October 9, he is facing a misdemeanor battery charge.