Here’s some depressing news for you. If you’re just “getting by” with your spouse and have a “one that got away,” then you missed your shot at true love. The good news is that you’re not alone. Roughly 75 percent of folks who settled down feel that they just settled, according to a new study.
Folks who can say they married the “love of their life” without any doubt are in the vast minority, according to a new study conducted by Siemens Festival Nights. As many as 73 percent of people surveyed said that they are simply “making do” in their relationship because their true love got away.
“The ‘making do’ part is sad, in the sense of, we’re not really tapped into, ‘Why are we in this, what are we looking for long term, and what do I really desire?’” relationship expert Kavita Patel said of the survey.
She said that people who settle do so for a variety of reasons, from the fear of being alone to just wanting security and comfort.
“Well, it’s better to be with somebody than nobody — I think that comes up for people,” Patel said.
Unfortunately, there’s more bad news. About 17 percent of respondents said that they did indeed meet their soul mate… but it was too late. They were already married. Another 46 percent said they’d leave their spouse to be with their true love.
It’s romantic to fight for true love though, isn’t it? There’s another cliche about the grass being greener. Regardless of how respondents felt, some experts say that it’s better to stick out the commitment you made.
“There is always a way to make it better,” Patel said.
This usually relies on that other old cliche: Communication is key.
“It requires you letting them in on those deeper secrets, or deeper thoughts that are going on for you that you’re scared to reveal, that will allow you to connect further,” Patel said.
A small silver lining to the study: 75 percent of respondents said that their definition of love changed as they aged.
Do you feel like you settled?