James Franco’s Roast: The Best Jokes From Comedy Central’s Taping

While some of you were tuning into the VMAs, another event was happening over at Comedy Central. James Franco was suited up in Los Angeles for the taping of his roast. With his grandmother as his date, Franco prepared to take the brunt of the jokes as he stepped out for the first taping of the season.

To kick off the ceremonies good friend and collaborator Seth Rogen was roast master of the night, with Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Bill Hader, and Andy Samberg in toe. The group gathered to take shots at the actor turned director-performance artist-writer-professor-multi-hyphenate-Oscar host. As expected the highlight of the event were the jokes about Franco bombing as an Oscar co-host with Anne Hathaway.

Post show, Franco admitted to never watching a roast before, and had no idea what he was in store for. He followed it up by adding, “If you’re going to do this kind of thing, you should just be ready for whatever. It’s not like I haven’t heard criticism about my performance in the Oscars. Or jokes about my choice of gay roles. I feel great and I feel everyone was awesome.”

Here’s the top ten quotes that came out of last night’s James Franco roast:

Seth Rogen: “Franco, you look like you’re asleep. Did you just read a James Franco book? In all seriousness, he is a very hardworking actor. He once told me he worked for 36 hours straight, which I don’t believe, the straight part, obviously.”

Nick Kroll: “James Franco is truly our generation’s James Dean. So handsome that you forget he’s only been in two good movies. Dean, of course, died at the tender age of 24 sparing himself the embarrassment of writing self-indulgent short stories and getting roasted by a bunch of jealous Jew monsters.

Natasha Leggero: “James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing — is there anything you can do?”

Hill: “He recently got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which is incredible because now critics and homeless people can s–t on him all the time.”

Silverman: “I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s f–king.”

Rogen on the roasters: “This dais is literally Hitler’s wet dream. It’s got Jews, gays and whatever Aziz is.”

Rogen: “Look at me doing all the talking while you sit there doing nothing. I feel like I’m cohosting the Oscars with you.”

Franco: “You say I sucked at the Oscars. I was a genius at the Oscars. That was experimental tuxedo sleep art.”

Ansari: “So many gay jokes tonight about Franco. Apparently if you’re clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you’re super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, d–ks are going to just fly into your face.”

Franco: “I agreed to do this roast because I wanted to do something I’ve never done before — something that has zero artistic value, something nobody will remember three months from now, something that’s offensive, homophobic and stars horrifically untalented people and something that’s only a big deal to a handful of teenage stoners on Twitter. You might say, ‘James, didn’t you just describe Your Highness? I wouldn’t know I didn’t see Your Highness.”

For those who want to check out James Franco’s roast, it airs on September 2 on Comedy Central.

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