Video Game Sequels I Want To See: ‘Duke Nukem XXX’ [Op-Ed]

Duke Nukem XXX is a video game sequel I want to see.

We remember that last game from the Duke Nukem series, and we don’t want to. Duken Nukem Forever was such an embarrassment, the game even made fun of itself. And this time it was almost ironic because the game was so poorly designed. There were no hidden secrets to find, the graphics were about on par with the last wave of classic Xbox games, and the one-liners did little more than remind us of how the game could have been. You grabbed poop out of a toilet and threw it at walls and such for no reason, for the love of Benji!

I’m calling a worthy sequel Duke Nukem XXX because that is closer to what the titular character would actually be doing. He visits strip clubs, caps baddies with one-liners, and then hits on the girls some more. Duke Nukem is a parody of what most gamer guys secretly want to be but are too ashamed to admit it.

Duke Nukem XXX is a video game sequel I want to see because it should take us up to the current level of HD resolution and gameplay, with a whole new plethora of movie references to poke fun at and better weapons. I want to see some particle effects as enemies get vaporized by an oversized BMG from Doom, or steam effects as a chain gun gets overheated. I want to see things go boom with realistic explosions and actual damage effects, possibly with some comically shaped holes in the walls.

Just image you blast a mutant pig through a wall with a high-powered rifle, and it leaves a hole in the wall behind him shaped like him flailing. It’s natural comedy that doesn’t need a verbal punchline, and we have the technology to pull it off. Duke Nukem needs to push the graphic and comedic envelope, especially with the next generation consoles almost here.

Just don’t take the Call Of Duty route and make it look so realistic that the graphics lose comic appeal. Aside from that, hold nothing back.

Look at the competition. Duke Nukem XXX would have no excuse not to at least try to compete with Call Of Duty: Ghosts, or Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Blacklist, or any of those new shooter sequels with a colon in their name.

What do you think of Duke Nukem XXX? Is it a video game sequel you want to see?