On National Tequila Day, Five Reasons To Get Smashed Tonight

It’s National Tequila Day, and the second half of this sentence absolutely doesn’t matter because that’s all you need to know for an excuse to have a Hump Day hedonism session. It’s the law! Or something.

On National Tequila Day, lots of sites are sharing facts about tequila — our own Dan Evon, who we seem to recall prefers Scotch, noted that tequila is aged on the plant and not in a cask, that the largest margarita ever was made in Vegas and was more than 8,000 gallons of party, and that the most expensive bottle of the stuff sold for nearly a quarter of a million dollars — to put than in perspective, that could provide Charlie Sheen with nearly half a week of blow.

Other sites have offered up recipes on National Tequila Day for margaritas, mariachis, and other mixed drinks including the popular spirit — all of which are a bit more complicated than our personal favorite tequila cocktail, which we like to call Straight From The Bottle While Listening To Morrissey On Spotify. Not sure why it hasn’t caught on yet.

E! has gotten in on National Tequila Day with a gif reaction piece, but no one is talking about reasons to completely celebrate the occasion, so we will offer a few right here.

First, Detroit is bankrupt and American manufacturing is still in a really sad state:

Following on from that, President Obama today offered up a “Better Bargain” for the middle class — which we can drink to, but we also have to counter that shot for the part where our kids look back at 2013 like the did the America of the past when people needed stuff like the New Deal or the Square Deal and lived in tents and people retired really poor:

Everyone is still mad at each other over the George Zimmerman thing, and his brother is still opening his face hole, even about the royal baby:

And, on National Tequila Day, Americans are reading about a royal baby at all when we fought a bloody war to flip the British monarchy our very first collective American bird:

But while we’re not caring about the royal baby per se on National Tequila Day, let’s also spare a moment to be mildly annoyed that Kate Middleton was criticized for her figure less than 12 hours after she had the freaking baby in the first place:

Why are you celebrating National Tequila Day today?