Owner of Segway pilots Segway off cliff, dies

Providing an example of cosmic irony for textbooks forevermore, the owner of the Segway company died in a strange Segway-related accident yesterday.

Jimi Heselden, the 62-year-old chairman of the company that purchased Segway earlier this year, was testing a “rugged version” of the much mocked personal transport device when he accidentally drove it off of a cliff and into a river yesterday morning near his home in West Yorkshire, England. Local police released a statement about the accident:

A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said today: “Police were called at 11.40am yesterday to reports of a man in the River Wharfe, apparently having fallen from the cliffs above.

“A Segway-style vehicle was recovered. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

“At this time we do not believe the death to be suspicious.”

Heselden began his career as a miner, founding HESCO Bastions with redundancy pay when he was laid off from mining. He was also a “noted philanthropist,” recently giving £15m to charity.