Americans increasingly engaging in web use while at church, weddings and during sexytime

When Americans aren’t busy being unprecedentedly poor, you’re likely to find them accessing the web even if they’re at a wedding, worshipping, bonking or maybe all three, according to a survey done by security software firm PC Tools.

While Ars Technica points out that the survey specified “honeymooning” and not sexy sexual sex, we all know that honeymooning is a word used by prudes and marketing firms because they don’t want to say “boning.” The survey by Harris interactive involving 1,012 Americans revealed that surfing-while-shagging was the most palatable of the sex-weddings-church questions, with 29% of those surveyed ostensibly viewing porn on their BlackBerrys while doing your mom. Sayeth Ars:

What the companies found was that 29 percent of Americans are OK with being “plugged in” while honeymooning (a descriptor that other news outlets seem to interpret as “all sex, all the time”), while six percent say it’s OK during a wedding. Eight percent are cool with checking the Internet during a religious service—hey, gotta set those fantasy football lineups before the benediction—while 41 percent think it’s acceptable while having dinner with family and friends.

I suppose an eternity of damnation is slightly less palatable to those surveyed than a night on the couch. In a press release, PC Tools also divulged that Americans are really, really paranoid about people finding their porn. If you’re familiar with the creeping feeling of dread that ensues when a friend or relative assumes it’s okay to hop onto your laptop to check their eBay auctions while you’re sweating like a whore in church because you haven’t cleaned out your history, you’re not alone:

  • 79% of all Americans want to keep the files or documents on their personal computers private from others, including their children (39%), parents (26%), spouse or significant other (17%), co-workers (48%), boss (42%), and friends (40%).
  • 45% of Americans would be embarrassed about their friends or family seeing certain files or documents on their personal or handheld computer, smart phone, or PDA, with men more concerned than women about others seeing the websites they have visited (18% vs. 12%, respectively).

Have you ever checked emails or sports scores while getting it on? Have you caught your bedmates glancing at their Foursquare pings in the throes of passion?