Demi Lovato said her struggles with depression have lasted far back in her life, including struggles with suicidal thoughts when she was just 7 years old.
The singer and actress, now 20, said she remembers struggling when she was a child actress appearing on Barney & Friends.
Even though she had a job that other young actors would dream for, Demi Lovato said she still battled depression.
“Looking back, there was a connection, probably between any kid who’s ever sang that song to Barney, a little place in a child’s heart, a void, that could be filled. And maybe Barney fills it,” she told Cosmopolitan magazine in its August issue. “Even before Barney, I was suicidal. I was 7. With Barney, I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way.”
Things did not get easier for Demi as she grew older. Depression followed her through childhood, and at age 11 she took up cutting as a way to cope.
“I’ve talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I’ve never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out,” Lovato said.
“The last time I talked to him was two years ago, you try to have faith in somebody, even when you’re the last person that believes in him. But when somebody lets you down after you’ve been the only one there for them, and so many times, you don’t know what else to do,” she said.
Though Lovato has been open about her battles with bipolar disorder and eating disorders, she said there is still more she is not ready to share with the world. Lovato said she has let some of these feeling out through her music, like song “Warrior” in which she sings: “There’s a part of me I can’t get back/ A little girl grew up too fast/ All it took was once, I’ll never be the same/ Now I’m taking back my life today.”
Lovato said her belief in God has helped her through some of the hardest times, though she says it’s not always easy to be openly Christian in Los Angeles.
“He put me through those things, which seemed horrible at the time, but they were so worth it,” Demi Lovato said. “With the obstacles I’ve overcome, I can help people.”