BREAKING (under the who cares news) Lindsay Lohan to spend 90 days in jail

Well doesn’t that suck the big banana. Poor little Lindsay Lohan failed to impress the judge and as a result has found in violation of her probation and has been sentenced to spend 90 days in the Los Angeles Country Jail.

Not only that but she is going to have to spend 90 days in an inpatient substance abuse program.

Today’s hearing stemmed from Lohan’s 2007 collar on drunken driving and cocaine possession charges. The actress spent 84 minutes in jail that year as part of her sentence and was given three years probation.

Lohan, who turned 24 on Friday, dressed demurely in a black top and dark pants, listened as an official from her alcohol education program testified that the once promising movie star sent in excuses for missing her court-ordered classes that ranged from the death of her uncle (whose funeral she did not attend) to being stuck in North Carolina.

“I believe she had nine absences altogether” between December 2009 and July 2010, Cheryl Marshall co-owner of the Right On program testified at today’s probation violation hearing.

An emotional Lindsay cried as Judge Revel sent down her ruling.

“I wasn’t expecting any special treatment, except that I have to prove for myself,” Lindsay said between sobs. “I did do everything that I was told to do and did… I’m not taking this as a joke, this is my life and my career… It did wake me up, it scared me.”

Lohan has been ordered to surrender by 8:30AM on July 20. She will be allowed to remove her SCRAM alcohol-monitoring device at that time.

Source: PopCrunch

Now on to more important news – the BP disaster continues.