‘Eurovision’ Grabs 125 Million Viewers With Popular Song Contest Everybody Hates [Video]

The “Eurovision 2013” finale was held Saturday night in Malmö, Sweden for an audience of around 125 million viewers. It’s the song contest that everybody loves to hate. Just in case you weren’t one of the snickering millions, I’ve put together a quickie roundup of the ridiculous show for your viewing entertainment.

I don’t want to single out The Netherland’s Anouk for a particularly weak performance, but one of her countrymen was moved to tweet a picture of the lovely young lady with the unimpressive voice covered in bird droppings.

UK’s Telegraph poked fun at their entry, 61-year-old Bonnie Tyler, best known to Americans as the 1983 one-hit wonder “Total Eclipse of the Heart” songbird.

Tyler came in 19th. “Maybe next year we should send a pop singer not as close to retirement age,” was the Telegraph’s catty assessment. They also reserved a sideswipe for Ireland’s last-place finish which they described as “a gay Riverdance.”

Even the winner, Denmark’s 20-year-old Emmelie de Forest, stood out for her sheer cornball. Hey, I hate her performance just for the penny whistle, but don’t let me tell you what to think. I’ve posted a video of the beautiful singer’s “Only Teardrops” down below.

I strongly suggest you give it a listen with your sound turned off.

Earlier in the year, Israel’s contestant Moran Mazor generated some noise by saying that convicted anti-Semite John Galliano would be designing her dress for Eurovision 2013. Israeli television authorities said that she could not appear for Israel wearing any dress designed by the controversial Briton.

Galliano, who was found guilty of racist rants in France while under the influence of alcohol and drugs, is now recovering from his substance abuse issues. His team said that they had never agreed to make the dress in the first place.

Here’s Emmelie de Forest performing “Only Teardrops” in her semi-finale performance for Denmark:

Here’s the one tweet summary of Eurovision:

Here’s a Twitter user who captures a lot of my feelings about Eurovision:

Eurovision drinking game: Every time the UK doesn’t receive points from a country, you drink. #timetogetsloshed

— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) May 18, 2013

So, Europe likes the UK enough to sing their songs in our language, but not enough to give us some sodding points? #eurovision

— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) May 18, 2013

Heh. I’m sure you realize that this dude isn’t the real Prince Charles.

What’s your take on Eurovision? Did you join the 125 million who watched, or did you hide under your bed and pray for Eurovision to go away?

[Bonnie Tyler, UK’s Eurovision rep, photo by S. Kuelcue / Shutterstock.com]