Pepperoni Penis Incident In Supermarket Leads To Man’s Arrest

Pepperoni penis jokes are probably not too uncommon, but a Potsdam, New York man probably isn’t laughing after his arrest Wednesday following an alleged gross out incident in a Hannaford supermarket.

The pepperoni penis incident was observed only due to omnipresent security cameras and an eagle-eyed guard at the Hannaford in Massena.

According to local news reports, 41-year-old John Allison of Potsdam was allegedly spied in the pepperoni penis assault on camera, and the site explains:

“Investigators said Allison rubbed a packaged stick of pepperoni on his exposed penis inside the Hannaford store at the St. Lawrence Plaza … Police said he then put the food back on the store shelf.”

Ew. Veggie Lovers instead, anyone?

After the loss prevention officer allegedly watched the pepperoni penis incident unfold, Allison was arrested by state police. He has been charged with public lewdness due to the fact he allegedly exposed his penis to the pepperoni and ostensibly any witnesses to the pepperoni molestation.

Allison further faces a fourth-degree criminal mischief charge, as Hannaford is unable to sell the pepperoni allegedly defiled by the defendant during the pepperoni penis incident. It was not clear whether other pepperoni in the store was also contaminated by the alleged act of sausage malfeasance.

Bail in the pepperoni penis incident was set at $1,000 cash bail or $2,000 bond, and Allison was ordered to be held in the St. Lawrence County jail after he was arraigned on the the public lewdness and criminal mischief charges.