Stuy Town Sunbathers Spark Side Boob Stir


Manhattan, NY – Skimpy Stuy town sunbathers are causing quite a stir among moms with their barely-there bikinis and generous helpings of the aesthetic phenomenon known as “side boob.”

Though once a kid’s playground site, the Stuyvesant Town park is now flooded with co-ed sunbathers wearing next to nothing, upsetting moms who feel it is no longer appropriate to bring their children there.

“A lot of side boob on the playground this weekend,” one resident griped on a blog.

The anonymous author continued: “This playground should NOT be used for sunbathing. We’ve heard that complaints were made, and now it’s time for management to . . . show some balls.”

“Think of the children!” the author concluded.

Another mother wasn’t quite as harsh but did think it was a strange place to sunbathe, given how many children are normally running around. “Sunbathe at your own risk,” 46-year-old Janine said.

It was at its worst Friday afternoon, when two dozen bikini-clad Stuy town sunbathers absorbed the grounds while children played nearby. Security guards even kicked some of the sunbathers out after a kids soccer league complained.

But the young hotties are kicking up plenty of fuss themselves over the recently-enforced “dress code.”

“A body’s a body, and they need to get over themselves,” said a recent Hofstra grad who moved to Stuy in August. “I pay just as much rent as they do. Just because I don’t have a child doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to be here.”

An NYU student named Melissa DeBlasio thought that security kicking out sunbathers was “ridiculous,” reasoning, “The sun’s out. It’s summer. People are going to be tanning.”

Another young woman called the crackdown “silly” and noted that Stuy authorities only seem to enforce certain rules arbitrarily. “We pay outrageous money to live here. Let us sunbathe for a few hours,” she said.

What do you think? Should the Stuy town sunbathers cover up, or do they have just as much a right to be there as young children? Sound off!

[Image via: ollyy, Shutterstock]

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