Though many couples start out believing that they can conquer anything together, it turns out that infidelity is pretty difficult to come back from, according to a recent
Several surveys have supported this in recent years, with an Ourtime.com query returning 42 percent of adults willing to work on a relationship after finding out their partner had cheated. Only 31 percent of marriages last after an affair has been discovered according to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Also, most adulterers are hardly at the Don Draper level of infidelity. Only 15 to 20 percent of cheating partners cheat again, according to author Bill Mitchell. This all just goes to show something we really shouldn’t need to be told – it only takes one time to destroy your marriage for good.
MSN Livingtalked with Rick Reynolds, who created the website AffairRecovery.com, after an affair nearly destroyed his own marriage. He believes that married couples can recover from infidelity and even “find a higher level of marital satisfaction than they once had.”
There are a few
obvious conditions. First, the cheating partner has to be really, really sorry. Like, so sorry. The hurt partner also needs to keep an eye out for positive changes and signs of recovery in the marriage.
If you can’t do all that, just call it a day.
“From the beginning, I tell people this process will take anywhere from eighteen to twenty-four months and it might even take longer,” he says. “And even if they take responsibility for healing both as individuals and as a couple there is one last barrier I see that happens toward the end of the process. Will they choose to be married?”
What do you think? Is infidelity a marriage-killer, or can a couple move on?
[Image via: conrado, Shutterstock]