300 Gallons Of Urine Found In Connecticut Man’s Home

Newtown, CT – A total of 300 gallons of urine have been found at a home in Newtown, Connecticut.

Authorities who searched the house after receiving a tip-off from local health officials say they discovered “200 to 300 one-gallon plastic jugs” filled with urine.

It is currently unknown whether the owner of the property, who has not been named, will face criminal charges. State and local environmental officials have interviewed the man, according to Department of Energy and Environmental Protection (DEEP) spokesman Dennis Schain. Schain told reporters:

“It appears the containers were placed there by the owner of the property. We don’t quite know why, but he was storing them there.”

Schain added that the single-family home was “in a state of disrepair.”

Adults produce an average of a liter to a liter and half of urine per day. That would mean the 300 gallons of urine found in this home would equate to around 900 days’ worth of peeing (assuming the urine belongs exclusively to one person).

Schain confirmed that an environmental contractor would be brought in to help deal with the case under the supervision of DEEP.

He also admitted it was unlikely charges would be filed against the homeowner, although authorities intend to make him pay for the clean-up operation. The urine was sent to a sewage-treatment plant to be disposed of.

Not that we should dwell on this too long, but, er… any theories about this, folks?