Mile-High Flirting Proposal Creeps Out Flyers, Echoes Icky KLM ‘Meet And Seat’

So the new mile-high flirting program is making some waves for Richard Branson’s Virgin America. Is this guy for real? You know how some guys just automatically give you that creepy playa vibe?

I realize that, if you’re a billionaire, you can just buy attention and thus have no incentive to figure out what you look like to others. Exhibit A: Donald Trump and his co-star toupee.

However, does Branson really not know what a “Richard Branson’s Guide to Getting Lucky” looks like to women? Ewww.

OK, so on select Virgin America flights, you can apparently punch in some numbers and order a drink for somebody in another seat.

I’m not sure how different that really is from just telling the flight attendant to bring the drink back to the lucky winner, which is what I always do. But then I already know who I’m sending the drink to and what their seat number is, so that’s just me.

Apparently, Branson’s cool plan is that, if you see a hot stranger on a plane, you can send them a drink. And then you can keep on badgering them through the seat-to-seat online chat system.

I have a better plan but it isn’t publishable in a family publication. Let’s just say that its initials are GFO.

When I’m in the cramped confines of a metal tube for several hours and can’t get away from you, I don’t want to hear your life story. I don’t want to humor your doubtful choice in cocktails. And I sure as heck don’t want to chat. Who’s with me?

Anyway, there are some logistical problems that posters on first class website “One Mile At a Time” instantly noticed.

A poster called Santastico noted: “So basically you have to walk down the aisle to check who is sitting where so you can then send a drink to the right person. Also, it only works if you want to buy a drink for someone in coach since business and first offer free drinks.”

In 2012, KLM rolled out a different mile-high flirting program. You were invited to use their “meet and seat” service that allowed you to check out who was sitting where using Facebook or LinkedIn. Then you could pick your seat based on who you wanted to sit next to.

Ugh. Just ugh.

As Flyertalker Sjoerd commented at the time: “Ok, we would all want to sit next to the hottie of our choice, but does the hottie M/F have the option to change seats to get away from the dirty old man M/F that chooses to sit next to him/her? This could lead to some interesting musical chairs…”

Despite the widespread publicity at the time, there isn’t much evidence that many people ever use KLM’s “meet and seat” option.

Which is probably just as well. You can leave a bar where you’re getting hit on by some creepster. You can’t really leave a plane.

Most people don’t want to take the chance of being trapped in an awkward situation for hours on end.

But I’d love to hear from anyone who has used “meet and seat” or any other mile-high flirting program. Feel free to tell your story in the comments.

Richard Branson’s video guide to “getting lucky.”

[Virgin America plane photo by Skinny Lawyer via Flickr and Creative Commons]