A bunch of pretty hilarious NASA transcripts have gone viral on Reddit, giving us a unique look into life aboard 1969’s Apollo 10 space mission.
The mission transcripts, which are readily available on NASA’s site, reveal all dialog between the three Apollo 10 crew members and NASA control staff back on Earth. You might think that sounds like a dry read, but there are nuggets of comedy gold here. Take the following exchange:
CDR: Who did it?
CMP: Who did what?
CDR: Who did it? (Laughter)
LMP: Where did that come from?
CDR: Give me a napkin quick. There’s a turd floating through the air.
CMP: I didn’t do it. It ain’t one of mine.
LMP: I don’t think it’s one of mine.
CDR: Mine was a little more sticky than that. Throw that away.
And, a little while later:
LMP: They said on 135. They told us that – Here’s another goddam turd. What’s the matter with you guys? Here, give me a –
LMP: Well, babe, if it was me, I sure would know I was sh***ing on the floor.
CDR: It was just floating around?
CDR: (Laughter) Mine was stickier than that.
CMP: When I stuck my finger in mine – mine was too soft. God dang.
CMP: (Laughter) I don’t know whose that is. I can neither claim it nor disclaim it.
Apollo 10 both launched and landed in May 1969 and was manned by Thomas P. Stafford (he’s CDR in the above exchanges), John W. Young (CMP), and Eugene A. Cernan (LMP).
So confirmed, dear reader: Space travel involves floating turds. Kate Winslet isn’t going to like this.