Jimmy Kimmel touched on a number of topics during his opening monologue on Tuesday night’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! (seen on YouTube), but most of them were related to the ongoing protests against racial inequality and police brutality. He blasted Donald Trump’s response to the demonstrations, applauded a bidet manufacturer’s statement about George Floyd’s death, and imagined a different ending to Trump’s stroll to St. John’s Episcopal Church.
Kimmel began by suggesting that Trump views himself as a “warden overseeing a prison break.” He criticized one of the president’s tweets commending law enforcement’s “domination” of demonstrators and boasting about the number of arrests that were made in Washington D.C. on Monday night. Kimmel also slammed Trump for thanking himself for the actions of law enforcement as many frightened Americans grapple with living in a new reality where military vehicles patrol city streets and police shoot paint canisters at people standing on their own porches.
Kimmel even argued that the Tushy Bidet company’s Twitter statement about Floyd’s death was superior to anything Trump has said or done in the wake of the tragedy.
To say we're deeply saddened by the brutal, inhumane, and absolutely evil public lynching of George Floyd would be an understatement.
We’re pissed. pic.twitter.com/SkdrjoJymB
— TUSHY Bidet (@hellotushy) June 1, 2020
“Good for them. A company that manufactures butt hoses has shown more compassion and clarity than the president of this country,” the talk show host said.
Kimmel suggested that other presidents would have made an attempt to bring the country together with “a message of unity and hope,” even if it wasn’t sincere. However, he accused Trump of continuing to brag about how he’s going to crack down on protesters instead. Kimmel also spoke about reports that Trump hid inside an underground bunker while a large crowd of demonstrators was gathered outside the White House. He jokingly compared the size of the gathering to Trump’s inauguration crowd.
“Took three and a half years. He finally got that massive crowd to show up for him in D.C.,” Kimmel quipped.
The talk show host mentioned subsequent reports suggesting that Trump’s controversial walk to St. John’s Episcopal Church on Monday was in response to coverage of the bunker story. Before the president made the trek to the church, police used tear gas and rubber bullets to clear the area of peaceful protesters. Trump was accused of attacking nonviolent citizens simply for the sake of a photo op.
“Isn’t that just perfect. Never went into the church, didn’t say a prayer,” Kimmel observed. “Just held up the Bible, posed, went back home.”
The footage of Trump walking to the church and holding the Bible up was later used to create a Twitter video with uplifting orchestra music. Kimmel shared the video, but it had been edited to include a different ending. As Trump held the Bible up, he was struck by a bolt of lightning that singed his skin and made his hair stand on end.
“Well, maybe God is watching over us after all,” Kimmel said. “It’s just hard to believe he exists.”