Vanessa Bryant Gets Candid About Losing Kobe & Gianna: ‘It Feels Wrong’

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Vanessa Bryant is opening up about the devastating loss she is experiencing following the tragic deaths of her husband, Kobe Bryant, and her 13-year-old daughter, Gianna.

This is the first time Vanessa has expressed her personal feelings after the helicopter crash that took the lives of her loved ones. Although Vanessa has been active on social media over the past week, she explains that she has been “reluctant” to “put [her] feelings into words.”

As is the case with many people who are forced to grieve a spouse or a child, Vanessa is experiencing the heartache along with the rollercoaster of emotions that grief tends to bring along with it. She shared those feelings in a candid Instagram post on Monday afternoon. The caption, pasted below, accompanied a sweet video that showcased highlights of Gianna Bryant’s basketball career with some sweet moments of Kobe mixed in.

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka, and Capri. I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

Vanessa’s post received more than 2 million likes in the first hour that it was uploaded. Hundreds of people have commented, sending love and support to Vanessa and her family, especially her three girls, Natalia, 17, Bianka, 3, and Capri, 7 months. Several celebrities have also commented on the post, including Kyle Richards, Brandy Norwood, and Courtney Lopez.

This isn’t the first time Vanessa has posted about this incredible loss. She released a lengthy statement on January 29, in which she expressed her heartache as well as her gratitude for the endless love and support she and her kids had been shown over the course of the week.

“I’m not sure what our lives hold beyond today, and it’s impossible to imagine life without them,” she wrote in part.

Kobe and Gianna were killed along with seven others when the helicopter they were riding in crashed in Calabasas, California, on January 26. A public memorial for Kobe and Gianna will be held at the Staples Center on February 24, at 10 a.m. local time. Vanessa is expected to be at the memorial and will likely speak. Other expected guests include Kobe’s parents and siblings, his dear friend Shaquille O’Neal, his former coach Phil Jackson, his former teammates, and other athletes and celebrities who befriended him over the years.