Taylor Swift attended the Sundance film festival on Thursday night where she watched the premiere of her new documentary, Taylor Swift: Miss Americana. According to The Guardian, the singer opens up about her struggles with an eating disorder as she talks to the film’s director, Lana Wilson.
The 30-year-old spoke candidly about her obsession with calories and food, revealing that she would starve herself to the point of feeling as if she would pass out while performing. The “Lover” singer added that her restrictive dieting, coupled with extreme exercise regimens, had her wearing size two jeans at one point. She now wears a size 10.
During the film, Swift described the pressures of adhering to strict beauty standards.
“I don’t think you know you’re doing that when you’re doing it gradually. There’s always some standard of beauty that you’re not meeting. Because if you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that a** that everybody wants, but if you have enough weight on you to have an a**, then your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just f*cking impossible.”
The artist went on to say that she is trying to be less critical of her body, believing that it is better to look fat than sick. However, despite attempting to reframe the way she thinks of her physical appearance, Swift admits that she is still easily triggered.
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) January 22, 2020
“I tend to get triggered by something, whether it’s a picture of me where I feel like my tummy looked too big, or someone said that I looked pregnant or something. And that will trigger me to just starve a little bit, just stop eating.”
While the documentary is the first medium in which Swift speaks openly about her eating disorder, it is not the first time she has spoken about the challenges of accepting and loving her body. In an essay for Elle magazine published in early 2019, the “Shake It Off” singer wrote that one of the life lessons she had learned before the age of 30 was learning to stop hating every ounce of fat on her body.
Swift speaks candidly about a variety of subjects in her documentary, including the impact of her mother, Andrea Swift’s, cancer diagnosis. As previously reported by The Inquisitr, the popstar’s mother recently discovered that her breast cancer had returned and spread to her brain.
The singer says her mom’s battle with cancer has put her own problems into perspective, especially when it comes to feeling pressure to be liked and accepted.
“Do you really care if the internet doesn’t like you today if your mom is sick from chemo?”
Taylor Swift: Miss Americana will begin streaming on Netflix on January 31.