Lady Gaga is opening up about a dark period in her life after being raped, saying that she suffered a psychotic break and turned to self-harm after the attack that took place when she was 19.
The singer had been gradually discussing the traumatic incident after first revealing it back in 2014, sharing that she was raped as a teenager and suffered post-traumatic stress disorder as a result. Now, in an interview with Elle magazine, the singer is sharing new details about what happened after the attack.
Gaga said that after she was raped, she was brought to the emergency room and saw a doctor and a psychiatrist, but had a hard time procession the situation. The singer explained that she was screaming and asking if she could see a “real doctor,” struggling to understand what was happening as her body went numbed and she felt “fully dissociated.” The singer described the episode as a psychotic break, saying it was a terrifying experience.
Lady Gaga went on to explain that the combination of the trauma she experienced as part of her rape exacerbated her existing fibromyalgia, a chronic condition that comes with a host of side effects, including fatigue and muscle pain.
“Although there are many different theories about fibromyalgia — for me, my fibromyalgia and my trauma response kind of go hand in hand,” she said. “The fibro for me is a lighter pain; the trauma response is much heavier and actually feels the way I felt after I was dropped on a street corner after I’d been raped repeatedly for months. It’s a recurring feeling.”
The “Poker Face” singer said that the experience was one of the worst things that had ever happened to her, and Radar Online noted that she had continued struggles with both mental and physical health in the years that followed. In 2017, she had to postpone her world tour due to physical struggles and explained to fans that she was trying to get to the bottom of it.
The effects of her rape and the traumatic aftermath eventually led Gaga to take antipsychotic medicine, and during that time, she developed a problem with self-harming. The singer said she turned to cutting herself, but was able to heal through intensive therapy.
Lady Gaga has not shared many details about the incident itself but has since become an advocate for victims of sexual assault and for those suffering from PTSD.