Sex Expert Tracey Cox Reports The Top 4 Sexual Secrets Couples Are Too Scared To Reveal & How To Discuss Them

Tracey Cox attends an aftershow party hosted by Dita Von Teese during Erotica 2007 at Olympia on November 23, 2007 in London, England.
Stuart Wilson / Getty Images

Tracey Cox — an English sex expert who has her own column and is now overseeing the launch of a talk show, The Tracey Cox Show— recently discussed the top bedroom topics that couples find most difficult to discuss with one another and how to address them, reported the Daily Mail. Her comments came about as a result of research conducted by Jack Radio into the nature of people’s love lives in 2019.

In her latest column, Cox says that one of the main aims of the show and column is to get couples talking about sex topics that they normally shy away from. The author believes that in order to thrive sexually, couples must be open about their secret needs and desires with one another.

The first sex secret that Cox identifies is the fantasies that each individual in the relationship quietly has.

“If you’re in a monogamous relationship – and most of us are – fantasies are what keeps sex fizzy when your sex life hits a humdrum patch.”

Fantasies can make sex between two people who have been together for a long time more exciting, the columnist adds. She advises couples to discuss the fantasies they have that involve their partner, but cautions against sharing fantasies that involve another person. While fantasizing about sex with someone else is common, it does not benefit the relationship to talk about it.

The second sex secret that many couples keep to themselves is the number of people they’ve slept with. In a survey that the author conducted, she found that at least 43 percent of people had not been honest about their sex history with their partner.

A man and woman cuddle in bed.
  Becca Tapert / Unsplash

Instead of advising couples to share their sexual histories, Cox says that it’s best to keep the topic secret.

“Our upbringing, early sexual experiences, how judgmental our partners have been, whether we’ve cheated or been cheated on – a myriad of factors contribute to who we are sexually today. What matters is what your partner is going to do from now on, now they’ve met you. What they did before you came along isn’t really relevant.”

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The third sex secret is keeping sexual preferences hidden. In the same survey, 68 percent of participants said they weren’t honest about their sexual preferences with their partner and weren’t open about what new things they’d like to try. Cox is all for couples having complete transparency when it comes to sharing sexual preferences and trying new things, as long as both partners are comfortable.

The last sex secret that couples keep to themselves is their opinion on their partner’s sexual performance. Many people do not tell their partner if they are dissatisfied sexually. Cox advises couples to talk about this even if it’s hard.

“It really isn’t as hard as you think if you follow one simple rule: Focus on what you want, not what you don’t, and you’ll never actually have to own up to having a problem.”

For those experiencing sexual dysfunction problems, they might be suffering from a lack of sleep, as previously reported by The Inquisitr.