Since her HBO hit Girls first debuted in 2012, Lena Dunham has been open about her battle with mental illness. The writer-and-director recently penned an essay for Scarlett Curtis’ book, It’s Not OK To Be Blue (and Other Lies), reported The Daily Mail. Within the essay, the 33-year-old revealed that she had admitted herself into a mental health facility in 2017. After experiencing writer’s block, Lena was consumed with anxiety and, to make matters worse, the Not That Kind of Girl author was battling a drug addiction.
“I was sick, skinny and addicted to pills. Even texts intimidated me, and so I went off to treatment to face my pain,” Lena explained.
Even after treatment, however, the American Horror Story: Cult actress found it difficult to put pen to paper.
“All day therapy, all night a blank computer screen,” said Lena.
Lena was eventually able to get her creative juices flowing after her adoptive brother, Spike, suggested she try painting.
Not only did this artistic endeavor helped improve Lena’s mental health bit it also allowed her to come to the realization that her relationship with musician Jack Antonoff was unhealthy.
“On my overnight with my boyfriend at a local inn, I drew him sleeping on the bed after the final time we had sex, and as I sketched I realized I would drown alive if he didn’t let go of me,” she wrote.
The couple broke up in December 2017, after being together for more than five years. Lena spoke about the tail end of their relationship in the August issue of Domino magazine. In the essay, she discussed moving out of their shared Brooklyn Heights home after their painful breakup.
Lena revealed that the couple had struggled to find a home that fit their unique tastes, so they opted to place a bid on a yet-to-be built apartment. While Jack was on tour with his band, Bleachers, Lena decorated their home to her liking. She noted that she was devastated when Jack revealed he was unhappy with the decisions she had made. For the sake of the relationship, Lena compromised her artistic vision and toned down their eccentric living space.
View this post on Instagram
Just to prove I don't only insta about violence… Here is the picture that my ❤️ @americaferrera insisted on taking so we'd have evidence that this is how we dressed for a nice dinner. Our 5.5 year anniversary was yesterday. Still working hard to impress him in surprising ways. PS we independently dressed entirely in merch.
“I felt sick every time I made a design concession or covered up pink with dove gray,” recalled Lena. “Love can only survive so much.”
Despite her efforts, the relationship did not last and Lena agreed to move out. This was upsetting to the writer, as she had once believed the home was where the couple would start their family.
To see more of Lena, be sure to watch Once Upon A Time In Hollywood in theaters now.