In an interview with Rolling Stone, Billie Eilish opened up about her struggle with mental health and self-harm.
The “Ocean Eyes” singer graced the cover of the magazine’s August issue. Billie, 17, was interviewed in her Los Angeles home, a two-bedroom bungalow, shared with her parents.
While Billie’s debut album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? has been an instant success, the singer revealed her sudden fame has taken a toll on her mental health.
According to Rolling Stone, her family’s address was recently leaked online. Three fans, including a much older man, showed up at her home. Billie’s family had to hire a bodyguard to stay overnight in their living room.
“It was really traumatizing,” said the 17-year-old.
The “Bad Guy” singer also stated she dreads going on tour, as she misses her friends while she is away. Billie also admitted she had a panic attack nightly before heading on the road.
“Thinking about that literally made me throw up. I’m not a throw-upper, but I threw up twice, from the anxiety,” Billie explained.
In order to combat her loneliness when she is away from home, the singer chartered an extra bus so her friends can visit her while she is on tour.
The 17-year-old also noted since entering the public eye, she has been having intense nightmares and sleep paralysis.
Billie confided she has been suffering from anxiety and depression since childhood. When she was younger, the singer attended a competitive dance company, where she felt insecure. The tight costumes made Billie feel uncomfortable.
“That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all,” said Billie.
After a devastating injury at 13, Billie had to quit dancing and fell into a severe depression.
“It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase… I felt like I deserved to be in pain,” the singer revealed.
Despite being signed onto a record label at 14, Billie noted she was miserable. Her darkest period lasted until she was 16-years-old. The singer told Rolling Stone she has gotten better within the last year. However, she confided she sometimes doesn’t trust herself when she is alone. Billie urged her young fans who self-harm to be kinder to themselves.
“Sometimes I see girls at my shows with scars on their arms…” she said. ” But I’ve said to a couple of them, ‘Just be nice to yourself.'”
Recently, the singer sought out professional help and went to see a therapist. Billie also stated riding horses does wonders for her mental health.