Ariana Grande got candid in a recent interview with Vogue, one wherein she opened up about the death of her ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller. Mac Miller died in September of 2018 due to an accidental drug overdose. Mac and Ariana were close friends in addition to romantic partners.
The time directly following Mac Miller’s death was the hardest for Ariana, according to her Vogue interview. Apparently, her friends came and took her to a recording studio after the tragedy occurred, because they knew what music does for the singer. That’s how the album Thank U, Next came to be, eventually dropping earlier this year.
Ariana created the entire album without even realizing she had done so, she said. The star admitted to being “so drunk” and “so sad” that she doesn’t remember creating the 10 songs that now make up the album.
She also revealed that this is the first album she created while being completely single and on her own. She admitted to having a generally having a boyfriend around for years now, and said that she has never taken time to get to know herself.
“I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So ‘Thank U, Next’ was this moment of self-realization.”
This realization has made her learn how to spend time by herself she told Vogue.
“I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me,” she said.
In addition to Mac’s death, this album also came out right after her engagement to Pete Davidson ended. She mentions both of them in her song “Thank U, Next.”
Ariana Grande even opened up about crying at Coachella, where she was the headliner of the festival. The star told Vogue that everything there reminded her of Mac. She confessed that she didn’t usually go to festivals, but when she did go, it was to see him perform. That made going to Coachella without him even harder.
During the interview, Ariana Grande admitted to spending large amounts of time worrying about Mac — even before his death. She compared herself to glue keeping him together, but as time went on, she wasn’t as powerful of a force in Mac Miller’s life.
“I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming… less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away,” she said.
According to Vogue, her friends at the time knew her as a girl who would stay up all night worrying about what Mac was doing, and where he was going.
Now, Ariana says that she is just trying to begin working on herself so she can become the strong woman she envisions herself being — instead of just pretending to be that woman for her fans.