Carrie Underwood Opens Up About Three Miscarriages: Heartbreaking Reason She Feels ‘Silly’

Carrie Underwood performs onstage during the 2018 CMA Music festival at Nissan Stadium on June 8, 2018
Jason Kempin / Getty Images

Carrie Underwood opened up about the miscarriages she suffered prior to welcoming her son Jacob earlier this year, and the American Idol star is now a mother of two.

On June 26, The Guardian interviewed the 36-year-old. Talk mostly centered around the singer’s upcoming appearance at U.K. music festival Glastonbury, but hard times were discussed. Carrie opened up on the three miscarriages she experienced in the space of two years. Her words seemed to suggest an inability to express her pain as her career as a music icon continued to skyrocket.

“I was still trying to do my job and put on a smiley happy face and be Carrie Underwood. And then I’d go home and fall apart.”

The Oklahoma native then revealed something immensely touching. She held her fingers not too far apart before expressing a heartbreaking emotion.

“I think you feel silly being so attached to something that you knew about for this long. But I still feel it, you know. I mean it took me a while to be able to sing certain songs and be able to get through them without really going there. It doesn’t go away. Ever.”

Carrie and her husband Mike Fisher are parents to 4-year-old Isaiah and January-born Jacob.

The starlet also revealed that her three failed pregnancies left her with a sense of grief that will never leave her.

“I will always mourn those children, those lives that were a shooting star, a breath of smoke, but I have Jacob, and he is incredible,” she added.

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Carrie has previously opened up on the miscarriages. Her Cry Pretty album includes emotional songs she put her grief into, although singing some of the numbers still proves trying for her. “Cry Pretty” and “Low” were both mentioned as tracks the star struggles to belt out. Carrie did, however, admit a “therapeutic” side to singing them.

As The Inquisitr reported earlier this month, Carrie has also blamed herself for the miscarriages. She admitted torment over what she might have done “wrong.” The star recalled conversations with her husband regarding just this. Carrie’s Christian faith was also mentioned. For this mother, the process came as a faith-based one alongside an acceptance that understanding why the miscarriages happened will come.

Carrie’s life as a mother now seems full of joy. Her Instagram pictures show her fast-growing son Isaiah and 2019-born baby. Carrie continues her life touring as she is currently performing across the U.S. on her “Cry Pretty” tour. Clearly, however, the pain of her miscarriages remains. Fans wishing to see more of Carrie should follow her Instagram.