In his new memoir Darkness to Light, NBA star Lamar Odom doesn’t hold anything back, revealing his darkest and most shameful secrets for the world to read. Fans of the basketball star get a whole new perspective on his life and struggles in his tell-all, in which he opens up about his sex addiction, wrote The Daily Mail.
According to Khloe Kardashian’s ex-husband, he began using sex as an outlet after his mother Cathy Mercer died when he was 12. The 6-foot-10-inch, New York-born athlete admits that he attempted to fill the void left behind by her death with women and casual trysts.
“I would f*** five or six girls a week, but my demons tormented me on the one night I went home alone. I needed women as an outlet … an escape.”
The 39-year-old went on to delve even further into his addiction, writing that his sexual exploits did not come without consequences and that he normally didn’t use protection with the women he slept with, leading to unwanted to pregnancies.
“But this does not come without problems… most of my sex has been unprotected, and I’ve paid for plenty of abortions over the years.”
The Los Angeles Lakers player continues to admit that while everything he did was legal, he feels very ashamed of himself and is not proud in the least. At one point, Odom writes about how badly he wanted to be loved yet wasn’t able to find love.
Even his marriage to reality television star Khloe Kardashian, which lasted from September 27, 2009, until Khloe filed for divorce in December of 2013, was riddled with infidelity and overshadowed by Odom’s drug abuse.
Although the athlete writes that he was the happiest he had ever been during the month after they married, he adds that he couldn’t handle the “lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity.” The combination effectively brought his marriage to an end.
In addition to his infidelity, Odom reveals that he lied to Khloe about his addiction to cocaine throughout their entire marriage and wishes he “could have been more of a man.”
Odom even once made threats to the socialite when he was under the influence of cocaine and ecstasy.
“Khloe came down and knocked on the door. I opened it suddenly and grabbed her forcefully by the shoulders, which frightened her. ‘What the f*** are you doing?’ I screamed, out of my mind. ‘You trying to embarrass me in front of my friends? I’ll f**king kill you! You don’t know what I’m capable of!'”
Darkness to Light is now available.