Ariana Grande has enjoyed some stratospheric career highs during the last year, but there have been some very difficult lows as well. Grande has songs in her catalog about these heartbreaking experiences, but recently confessed that singing them live causes her to go through them over and over again.
“Making it is healing,” she tweeted about the impact of singing emotional songs like “No Tears Left To Cry,” as reported by Entertainment Tonight. “Performing it is like reliving it all over again and it is hell.”
The tweet has since been deleted.
Ariana’s ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, died last year after an accidental overdose. As Hello Giggles reports, she has already cried during “Thank U Next” when the lyrics of the song mention him. During the first weekends as the headliner at Coachella, she also paid tribute to Miller with an “In Memoriam” section that included rapper Nipsey Hussle as well, Spin notes. She also wore a Steelers jersey which some believe was a tribute to Miller because he was from Pittsburgh. As Pop Buzz reports, the “Self Care” rapper was a big Steelers fan.
Ariana recently shared a photo of her brain scans in her Instagram stories to illustrate the effects of her PTSD. As Women’s Health Magazine reports, in one image, you can see a side-by-side comparison of a healthy brain and the brain of someone with PTSD. The healthy brain is mostly dark while the brain with PTSD has white sections. Ariana then posts photos of her brain scans and they look like the brain with PTSD.
“Hilarious and terrifying…not a joke,” she wrote in the caption of the Instagram story.
Last year, Ariana revealed that she had been diagnosed with PTSD, which had been triggered by a suicide bombing at her concert in Manchester the previous year.
“It’s hard to talk about because so many people have suffered such severe, tremendous loss,” she said in an interview last year. “But, yeah, [my PTSD is] a real thing.”
She also expressed some reluctance to even speak about it because of the people who lost loved ones because of the bombing.
“I know those families and my fans, and everyone there experienced a tremendous amount of it as well. Time is the biggest thing. I feel like I shouldn’t even be talking about my own experience – like I shouldn’t even say anything,” she added.
Ariana is set to headline Coachella’s second weekend soon, so here’s hoping that the love of her fans and her more upbeat songs help her to cope with the emotional trauma she experiences on stage.