Hilaria Baldwin Says Women Shouldn’t Suffer ‘Silently’ After Miscarriage

Nathan CongletonNBC

Hilaria Baldwin has stated that women should not have to suffer silently after a miscarriage and wants the stigma that surrounds the loss of a baby to stop. Baldwin appeared on Today and told the hosts that she wanted to open up about the possibility that she and her husband, Alec Baldwin, may have lost what would have been their fifth child. She also penned an essay about the experience for Glamour Magazine.

The couple is blessed with four children — Carmen, 5, Rafael, 3, Leonardo, 2, and Romeo, 10 months.

“The silence makes you very nervous. And so this technician, she just kept on being quiet and kept on trying to find a heartbeat… She could find it and then you’d listen to it and… [it’d be] very spread apart, kind of slow,” Hilaria explained during her appearance on Today, as seen in a post from the show’s Twitter account.

“And she said to me, ‘The heartbeat is not very fast.’ And then I went in again — and, in the life of an embryo, days, a week, it’s completely different — and it was the same.”

“I wanted to come out and speak about it because it’s something so many people deal with and, as women, we’re trained to deal with it silently,” Baldwin said on the morning talk show. “You’re definitely not supposed to say anything before 12 weeks. And some of that is because people are superstitious and a lot of it for other people is fear. And I don’t think we have to live with such fear.”

This appearance comes on the heels of an Instagram post the yoga instructor shared when she revealed she was likely suffering a miscarriage.

View this post on Instagram

I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage. I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss. I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies...and I don’t want to keep this from you, just because it isn’t as positive and shiny as the rest. I think it’s important to show the truth...because my job is to help people by being real and open. Furthermore, I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it. There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine—and it truly isn’t. I don’t want to have to pretend anymore. I hope you understand. So, this is what is going on now: the embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait—and this is hard. So much uncertainty...but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult. I am so blessed with my amazing doctor, my dear friends, and my loving family...My husband and my four very healthy babies help me keep it together and have the perspective of how truly beautiful life is, even when it occasionally seems ugly. The luck and gratitude I feel that I am my babies’ mommy, is wonderfully overwhelming and comforting. In your comments, please be kind. I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on

In her Glamour essay, Baldwin revealed that she believes miscarriage comes with a social stigma, one where people may think there’s something wrong with the mother or baby or both, and that could cause emotional scars for a mother who suffered that experience. Mothers often feel alone in their grief, and for many, the emotional trauma that comes with losing a child stays with them indefinitely.

In reaching out to share this life journey with her followers, Baldwin hoped to find consolation, not only for herself, but also for others who might find a place to speak of their own experience in the comments section of her post.

View this post on Instagram

Thank you for your support and thank you for your stories. I want to assure you that I know I will be ok. I have perspective to understand sadness and loss in the grand scheme of things. Emotionally I am processing it all...being able to be open with you has been extremely healing. I was very nervous to share, and am so relieved that it was received with such love. I am grateful that you listened and I’m grateful that I have these tiny partners to go through this with. I don’t know what I would do without my community. Thank you for making my world a brighter place and for your sharing. I know that you didn’t have to and am humbled and honored by your openness. I don’t know about you, but I find it extremely comforting to know that I am not alone on this difficult journey ❤️ #neveralone

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on

In Glamour, Baldwin said that although she and her husband were not “actively trying” for another baby when they learned of this pregnancy, they were thrilled when they realized they were adding to their brood.

The Today Show airs daily on NBC.