A CNN report describing how Donald Trump spent the evening after Robert Mueller submitted his Russia investigation report on Friday has set off a wave of ridicule on Twitter for describing Trump in terms more worthy of, as one Twitter user put it, “erotic fan fiction.”
Headlined, “Inside Trump’s evening for the ages,” the CNN story described Trump as standing “on the tiled patio of Mar-a-Lago, bathed in golden light,” as the Mueller Report was released.
The story also noted that Trump did not immediately take to Twitter himself upon learning of the report’s release, despite having tweeted about Mueller nearly every day in the previous week, as Trump Twitter Archive data shows. Trump finally reappeared on Twitter Sunday morning — but did not mention the Mueller Report as of noon Eastern Time.
But Twitter had plenty to say about CNN’s glowing description of Trump, with TV producer David Simon, creator of HBO’s The Wire and a former newspaper reporter himself, saying that the CNN prose, attributed to Kevin Liptak, “requires a decent editor to get up from his terminal, walk over to some wretch on the other side of the newsroom and ask Nathaniel Hawthorne to calm the f*** down.”
On the evening Robert Mueller submitted his report to the Justice Department, President Trump was on the tiled patio of Mar-a-Lago, bathed in golden light, with his wife and son Barron, who had reached teenagerhood two days earlier https://t.co/hJ6Mtvkqru pic.twitter.com/STbnNwEQYi
— CNN (@CNN) March 23, 2019
Barr reported for work at the Justice department on Sunday morning, and was “on pace” to release his own summary of what he called Mueller’s “principal conclusions” later the same day, according to a PBS News Hour account.
But as Trump, Congress, and the rest of the country waited on Barr, Twitter had fun with the CNN “golden light” story.
Good Morning Mr. President,
As you celebrate a small but temporary and unclear victory on the tiled patio of Mar-a-Lago, bathed in golden light of CNN having Stockholm syndrome, just remember that Al Capone was brought down not for murder but for tax evasion.
— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) March 24, 2019
He pondered the news even as the radiant crown of Helios sank toward the horizon, its golden light deepening to orange, finally matching the hue of the septuagenarian’s skin, the very epidermis a doctor once pronounced the healthiest to reside in the White House. https://t.co/BfXxz16o95
— Conor Friedersdorf (@conor64) March 24, 2019
You know who didn’t spend Friday evening on a tiled patio bathed in golden light?
The children locked in cages at the direction of the president of the United States. https://t.co/N8SyX2jAy0
— Andrew Weinstein (@Weinsteinlaw) March 24, 2019
I bathed in golden light today. Do I look younger?
— MZS (@mattzollerseitz) March 24, 2019
What nonsense is this? “Bathed in golden light?” This man is all seven deadly sins rolled up into one monsterous orange blob of reckless corruption, and you are writing him up like he’s some Greek god, or something. Ridiculous & irresponsible, bordering on outright propaganda.
— Jean Yoon (@jean_yoon) March 24, 2019
Golden light ???? is that like golden showers?
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) March 23, 2019
CNN’s description of Trump as a serene figure “bathed in golden light” did not square with the expectations of Trump’s own aides who, as Inquisitr reported, feared that Trump would “do something rash” after learning of the Mueller Report’s completion, and took measures to contain his behavior.
Even though no known person outside of Mueller, Barr, and their close aides was aware of the contents of Mueller’s report as of Sunday morning, Republicans in congress and in the media claimed that the report vindicated Trump anyway, as Time Magazine reported. Their claims were based on reports from an unnamed Justice Department official saying that Mueller had recommended no new indictments as a result of his findings.
"What's your skin care secret, Donald? How do you keep it so fresh?"
"Well, I bathe in golden light three-four times a week…" pic.twitter.com/DPCgnf6YqS
— Fountains of Devin Nunes (@Yastreblyansky) March 24, 2019
A Golden Light? Were more people peeing on him?
— spensergirlFlorida (@spensergirlFLA) March 24, 2019
CNN: Trump was "bathed in golden light." https://t.co/p4xaK1NJ49
— Peter Daou (@peterdaou) March 23, 2019
However, as one former federal prosecutor noted in a Washington Post op-ed on Friday, a recommendation of no further indictments is not an indicator of a “no collusion” finding by Mueller. The counterintelligence portion of Mueller’s investigation — which would not lead to indictments — is likely to document instances of how the 2016 Trump campaign worked together with Russia in the presidential election that year, according to former U.S. attorney Harry Litman.